I sure do love me some Stephen King. I own every book and have gone out of my way to see every lame movie adaptation. As a fan, I can say that this week’s news of both a theatrical remake of The Stand and the possible casting of Javier Bardem as Roland in the Dark Tower films and TV series is all absolutely wonderful. I have full confidence that things are looking up in the Stephen King film world.
That being said, I will shamefully admit that this trailer is my all-time favorite King film low. The best part? It was brought to us by (a mostly high) Stephen King himself.
There is seriously nothing going on today, so let’s check in on that old Critical End! fallback: Community!
In case you haven’t been watching, it’s back from it’s mid-season hiatus and funnier than ever. They’re also returning the show to it’s roots, and moving away from some of the more over-the-top scenarios that they’ve been doing. It was also great to see Chevy have more to do in last Thursday’s Pierce heavy episode. Creator Dan Harmon is promising even more red hot Chevy action in an upcoming episode that features the entire cast visiting Pierce after he ends up in the hospital. Oh, and Entertainment Weekly also has some great news about an upcoming (nerd alert!) Dungeons & Dragons themed ep. Is this the best show on television yet or what, folks?
Anyway, here’s some more Community Season 2 news straight from the cast and crew themselves:
Truth be told, I haven’t watched Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim since it’s glory days. From what I understand, I haven’t missed much besides two or three hundred episodes of Family Guy.
Now, thanks to Conan O’Brien and a blonde wig, I have a reason to start again:
Like most people, I kinda accidentally got sucked into the Golden Globes. They really weren’t that interesting, and the mix of celebrities was a bit odd, but it was on. I ate and even started to read while they played in the background.
Then Natalie Portman freakin’ laughed.
I spit out my taco, threw down my book, and stared, mouth ajar, at the pregnant lady on my screen emitting this weird noise. I believe a small poodle also died.
The actual video is on YouTube, but I tend to prefer this one. WARNING: This is very annoying, although Brendan Fraser seems to dig it.
Welcome back, kids! Long time, no see. Did you enjoy our 2010 wrap-up show? I know we sure did!* Anyway, a lot has happened since we last spoke. Anne Hathaway was cast as Catwoman**, Tom Hardy was cast as Bane***, and it appears that Regis Philbin will be retiring soon****.
However, what the net is most abuzz about are the 2010 Oscar nominations. There really aren’t many surprises this year. I’m glad to see that Christian Bale finally got nominated. I really hope he’ll win so we can watch him accept the Oscar as Batman or John Connor or whoever the hell he thinks he is that week. Meanwhile, I may be the only person in the world who is happy to see that The Wolfman got nominated for Rick Baker’s makeup.
The full list of nominations can be found here. Now is the time to start preparing for the big night by watching the last few minutes of TheNaked Gun 33 1/3.
*Lie.
**Meow!
***Who and who?
****There is nothing funny about this. The man is a legend.
Episode 1 of TellTale’s Back to the Future game has now come and gone, scoring some pretty positive reviews along the way. Meanwhile, there are a few of us who are pretty pumped about the upcoming Jurrasic Park game that they announced a while back. Nothing official has been posted online yet, but Game Informer magazine (Remember magazines? They’re all made of paper and junk) recently ran an article which featured the first screenshots. Needless to say, it was only a matter of seconds before generic Fanboy #684 scanned them all into his parents computer. Let’s have a quick look at a few, shall we?
Nothing breathtaking, but it looks like Telltale knows the world and has got another fun ride in store for us. See all of the scans at lazygamer.
Once again, a strange lack of interesting entertainment news has flooded the internet. Isn’t it time for for another celebrity to die or something? What about Gene Hackman? He hasn’t done much these past few years.
All kidding aside (seriously Gene, we loved you in 2004’s Welcome to Mooseport), the internet is buzzing with the news that James Bond #23 is finally going into production (yay!). This reminded me of a video some online nerd put together of all the James Bond “Gun Barrel Openings” from Dr. No to Casino Royale. I’d forgotten that Sean Connery wore a hat in every one of his openings. It’s also fun to notice how the theme changed over the years.
Argue if you want, but my personal fav is still 2002’s Die Another Day where Bond actually shoots down the barrel of the gun. Now that’s my James Bond.
These past few years John Carpenter has been restricted to producing horror films and writing/directing the occasional Masters of Horror episode. He hasn’t really made a film since 2001’s John Carpenter’s Ghost of Mars, and quite frankly, that’s fine with me.
Then Wes Craven had to go and ruin it all by making Wes Craven’s My Soul to Take, a film that me, Ryan, and nearly everybody else who was tricked into seeing it agreed was one of the worst films of 2010. However, our pal John Carpenter took one look at it and thought, “Now there’s a bank full of retirement money for old, overrated filmmakers like myself! Kids will pay for anything! It was true when I made John Carpenter’sHalloween H2O and it’s true now!”
Hence: John Carpenter’s The Ward.
So is it just me, or is the twist going to be that she’s the one doing all the killing? Oh well. At least John Carpenter isn’t attempting to take us “closer to terror than we’ve ever been before …in 3D”, much like the trailer of that Wes Craven film promised.
Back in July, Harry Hanrahan made a very fun video featuring his picks for the 100 greatest insults ever to grace the silver screen. It’s a slow news day*, so I was thrilled to see that he recently released a “sequel” video, featuring 100 more awesome insults. Honestly, I think I may prefer this list more.
Once again, I implore you to crank up the volume, gather your co-workers around the screen, and see who can name the most films. Winner buys the first round after work tomorrow.
*Seriously. The only entertainment news I could find was about Taylor Swift and Jake Gyllenhaal’s break-up, and I’m sure as hell not going to report that. However, I will take this time to say “OMG!”
“Wow,” you think as you finish reading Ryan DiGiorgi’s January 3rd post at Criticalend.com, one of your favorite websites. “Ryan’s right. I shouldn’t feel guilty or out-of the-loop when my friends chastise me for not seeing some classic film. I have all the time in the world to enjoy a good movie.”
You take a sip of your latte and look around the coffee shop. It’s a beautiful day out, and although you heard that a storm or two may be moving in this weekend, it doesn’t dampen your spirits. The would is full of people who would complain about things they can’t change, but Mr. DiGiorgi has reminded you to slow down, and not stress about what’s expected. You’ll get around to seeing Chinatown and Das Boot soon enough, but you’re done with the guilt. There’s plenty of time.
Sure, the kids make it hard to find the time to see a good movie, and let’s face it, you’re not getting any younger. And think about that homeless beggar you saw on the way into the shop: He’s definitely not seeing movies anymore. I wonder if he ever saw Braveheart? Then there’s the blood pressure. Doc said that if you don’t start watching your diet, you could be nearing a massive heart attack. Or worse. I mean, what if you fell into an open manhole on the way home? You would never even get to see that last Indiana Jones flick! What was it called? Search for the Crystal Skull or something like that? You heard it was lame, but you’ve seen the others. Wouldn’t you feel like a real knucklehead if you knew all of your friends and family were talking about it at your funeral…
And what’s up with that businessman across from you at the coffee shop?! He left his briefcase on the table and walked off almost fifteen minutes ago! Who does that? Now that you think about it, he did seem a bit out of the ordinary, didn’t he? Why, he could be some sort of Islamic extremist and that very well could be a small nuke ready to blow at any second! And to think: Stand by Me was on TV the other night and you turned it off.
It’s easy for people with reasonably fictional names like “Ryan DiGiorgi” or “Edgar Wright” to sit around and talk about how it’s never too late to see a movie, but you know better than that. It may already be too late.
Apologies. I wanted to post something meaningful today, but then I got caught up watching this clip of Duke Nukem singing Elvis while smashing chucks of ice and delivering one killer drum solo.
All kidding aside, this really should have been how The Expendables ended.
You know how every Pixar film in theaters opens with a nifty little short? I’ve always thought of it as a great throwback to film going days of old, while also enjoying the little extra bit of Pixar I’m getting for my buck. I especially enjoyed Day & Night, the short before Toy Story 3, although the teenagers in front of me seemed to be wondering if they were in the wrong theater.
Pixar tweets are beginning to flow like crazy now that we’re getting closer to (collective moan) Cars 2, and they all seem to hint towards the same thing: The film will open with the first of several Toy Story character epilogue shorts. While this seems like a fun thought at first (and a great way to trick people like me into seeing Cars 2), I hope that this doesn’t cheapen what I thought was a great ending to a very fun trilogy. Then again, this is Pixar, and I’m sure they’ll bring us nothing but the finest. Like Cars 2, for example.
The first short is called Hawaii, and will feature Barbie and Ken. As long as they bring back favs Michael Keaton and Jodi Benson, I’m sure it’ll be awesome.
After seeing this, I’ll take back some of the ill words I had for it a few weeks back, but not all.
I stand by my statement that Seth Rogan is a terrible voice casting choice. He’s too “I’m really a formally fat Jewish guy” to sound alien. And speaking of voice work, we live in an age where we no longer need trailers read to to us by some fancy voice guy…so why hire one just to read “Paul”? And finally: Nick Frost was not allowed to talk in this trailer. He charges extra for that.
It’s nearly Christmas here at the Critical End! HQ. I’m hanging decorations in my best Clark Griswold style, while Ryan is having his usual charitable event, “Make Out with Ryan for 5 Bucks”.*
Click to download just in time for Christmas!
Anyway, because of the upcoming holiday, we wanted to let you know that this will be something of a short week for the site. No podcast this week, however, we will post one more story tomorrow, most likely something about how rad Chevy Chase is and how lame Judd Apatow is. After that, you’re on your own, Timmy.
We’ll return to the usual schedule the week after Christmas, with our TRON podcast. See you all back here then!
*Reserve your place now! Last year Ryan raised over $5.00 for “Ryan’s Angels”, a charity that helps girls ages 18 to 25 win a dream date with Ryan.
Wow, 2010. You’re really turning out to be a bad year for celebrity deaths. Leslie Nielsen, Tom Bosley, Kevin McCarthy, Dennis Hopper, Doug Fieger, Peter Graves…and now Blake Edwards.
While he hasn’t been very active since the final Pink Panther film in 1993, I remember being thrilled to see him up to his old tricks again at the Oscars in 2004. The moment is one of the few fond memories I have of the Oscars over the past ten years, and is definitely worth seeing again, despite the scary, bald, and mostly annoying Jim Carrey.
