May 17 2011

Sleepover at Logan’s! No fatties, please.

I still remember my old VHS copy of the original Fright Night that I dragged to EVERY sleepover I went to.  We were almost never allow to watch it (boobies!), but it was always a fun/scary good time whenever we did.  Anyway, the trailer is now out for the remake, and I must say that I’m getting the same fun vibes.  Perhaps I should just skip this in theaters and throw a slumber party when the DVD comes out.  Who’s in?

Feb 9 2011

Critical End! (The Podcast) #80: I wish Glen came to town more often


This episode is waiting for you at the bottom of a swimming pool. REVIEWED: The Rite, The Mechanic.. PLUS: *grumble grumble*

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Feb 3 2011

For the Love of Stephen King

I sure do love me some Stephen King.  I own every book and have gone out of my way to see every lame movie adaptation.  As a fan, I can say that this week’s news of both a theatrical remake of The Stand and the possible casting of Javier Bardem as Roland in the Dark Tower films and TV series is all absolutely wonderful.  I have full confidence that things are looking up in the Stephen King film world.

That being said, I will shamefully admit that this trailer is my all-time favorite King film low.  The best part?  It was brought to us by (a mostly high) Stephen King himself.

Stephen King pointed at me!

Jan 5 2011

Critical End! (The Podcast) #77: A good spankin’


This episode can’t do nothing for ya, boy. REVIEWED: True Grit (1969), True Grit (2010). PLUS: The Oscar talk begins.

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Dec 15 2010

Critical End! (The Podcast) #75: Bred for sexiness


Who me? No, no, I don’t live here. I’m just Johnny Depp. No problem, I get that a lot. REVIEWED: The Tourist. PLUS: Filler!

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Oct 31 2010

What to Watch on Halloween


This list isn't for you, Li'l Eeyore!

Happy Halloween, folks!  If you’re like me, Halloween has transformed over the years from an excuse to dress up and bug people for candy to an excuse to sit at home and watch scary movies.  And eat candy.

Recently, some friends asked me to put together a list of thriller/horror movies that I recommended.  I was pretty happy with what I came up with, so I’m sharing it with you, in case you needed some inspiration for your own All Hallows’ Eve celebration.  Feel free to disagree in the comments.


  • Psycho (thriller/slasher) Obviously.  First and best slasher.
  • Three…Extremes (Saam gaang yi – subtitled) – Watch Instantly from Netflix – This one’s great for a party because it’s composed of three short stories, all creepy.  None of them are blow-you-away-awesome but they’re each fun and disgusting in their own way.  Gets very gross.
  • The Evil Dead Trilogy (horror/horror comedy/action adventure) – Watch Instantly from Netflix – Obviously a must see.  The second one’s the best, but they’re all great and better as a marathon.
  • Psycho Beach Party (horror comedy) My favorite horror comedy of all time.  Gidget meets Hitchcock.
  • Re-Animator (horror/dark comedy) – Crazy college student discovers Frankenstein serum, creates super disturbing zombies.  Jeffrey Combs is amazing in this.
  • Dead Alive – (horror comedy-ish) aka Braindead.  Early Peter Jackson does Evil Dead.
  • The Frighteners (horror comedy-ish) later Peter Jackson does Ghostbusters
  • The Mist (thriller) – Most of the movie is an awesome and faithful adaptation of the Stephen King novella.  Then the end…oh man, the end.  Different from the book but AMAZING.
  • Undead (horror comedy)  Probably my second favorite horror comedy.  Australian zombie flick with kickass action and a really weird plot twist.  Succeeds both in the comedy and the horror which is rare.
  • Infection (Kansen – subtitled) – Watch Instantly from Netflix – Some weird infection makes people kill people in gruesome and awesome ways.  The story’s not stellar, but the suspense and effects are pretty great.
  • Identity – Remember this?  John Cusack….anyone?  I liked it.
  • Dawn of the Dead (the 2004 remake)  I wasn’t a fan of Romero’s original but this remake is pretty good.
  • Premonition (Yogen – subtitled) – Watch Instantly from Netflix – NOT the Sandra Bullock version.  Very cool film.
  • The Omen (the original)- Watch Instantly from Netflix – Awesome suspense film made even better by giving you the opportunity to do Gregory Peck impression’s the whole time.  I’ll get you started:
    • “I remember when my daddy gave me that gun. He told me that I should never point it at anything in the house; and that he’d rather I’d shoot at tin cans in the backyard. But he said that sooner or later he supposed the temptation to go after birds would be too much, and that I could shoot all the blue jays I wanted – if I could hit ’em; but to remember it was a sin to kill a mockingbird…”
  • The Howling (horror/dark comedy) – Early Joe Dante’s take on werewolves mixed with some weird social commentary.  If you watch this, you must PROMISE me that you’ll be deathly quiet when the female lead is searching the dark office.  Because the best thing ever is about to happen.
  • The Descent – Spooky thangs in a cave.
  • Creepshow (cheese factor) – Watch Instantly from Netflix – Adaptation of several Stephen King short stories.  The one King himself stars in is hilarious.
  • Final Destination (cheese factor)  Though I secretly like this movie on a non-ironic level.  Avoid all the sequels.
  • Gremlins and/or Gremlins 2 – Again, an obvious one.
  • The Thing (John Carpenter)
  • Black Sheep (horror comedy)
  • The Eye (Gin gwai – subtitled) NOT the Jessica Alba version.
  • The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (original) – It’s not stellar but it did invent the chainsaw maniac as well as the documentary style horror movie.
  • The ‘burbs Watch Instantly from Netflix – (horror/comedy)
  • Silent Night, Deadly Night (cheese factor) Got to get a Christmas one on the list.  See Logan’s detailed review here.
  • Killer Klowns from Outer Space (cheese factor/horror comedy)- Watch Instantly from Netflix
  • The Wickerman (original)  Two words: Christopher Lee.
  • Child’s Play (slasher) – Watch Instantly from Netflix – The series is really hit or miss but the first one is pretty solid.
  • A Nightmare on Elm Street Series (slasher) – Most of these movies aren’t “good” per se, but they’re kind of required viewing of the genre.  The worthwhile entries are:
  • Friday the 13th Series (slasher) – Most are even worse than the Elm Street movies.  The first Friday the 13th is reasonably good and has a nice twist that everyone already knows.  And Freddy vs. Jason is actually pretty awesome (a highlight for both characters).  Also, despite Logan’s protests, I thought the Michael Bay produced remake was surprisingly good.  The others are only good for their comedic value.  Particularly…
    • Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter – Funny for not being the final chapter, and containing the antics of both Corey Feldman and Crispin Glover.
    • Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan – Hilarious for NOT taking place in Manhattan.
    • Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday – Watch Instantly from Netflix – Jason is killed when the FBI sets up a “sting” for him that consists of a naked chick in a cabin.  Then his demon possesses the black guy from X-Files.
    • Jason X – Jason IN SPACE!
  • Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon (horror comedy) – Now you’re ready for this one.  The horror comedy that becomes an actual horror movie as it goes along.

Sep 3 2010

Everybody’s Laboring for the Weekend


With Labor Day weekend at hand, I thought I’d cram a lot of awesomness into one mega post.

First up, James Cameron thinks he owns the concept of 3D and takes it upon himself to call out Piranha 3D as “exactly an example of what we should not be doing in 3-D.”  This prompts Piranha producer Mark Canton to point out that not everyone can “take ten years using other people’s money to make and market a film.”  All I can say is that there was ritual mating in both movies and the fish film did it right.

Shamelessly stolen from

Elsewhere, I Watch Stuff reports that CBS reports that 60 Minutes and Vanity Fair report that nobody gives a crap how evil Mel Gibson is.  76% of those polled said that the scandal would have no effect on their likelihood of seeing a new Mel Gibson movie. If America can separate Gibson the man from Gibson the actor, I suppose I can start going back to my favorite Starbucks, despite that one barista’s outspoken views on abortion.

Here’s Doctor Who favorite David Tennant from the upcoming remake of Fright Night.  I’ve never seen the original, but you can pretty much take any beloved genre actor and cast them as a magician and I’ll see that movie.  Just ask The Prestige.

Speaking of awe-inspiring images, Juan Pablo Bravo made a HUGE size-comparison chart of just about any Hanna-Barbera character you can think of, 600 in all.  Click the tiny sample below for the full shebang.

Almost as cool as knowing the exact relative heights of the Hair Bear Bunch, is Conan O’Brien announcing the name of his new TBS show.  It’s a good thing he’s getting back to work.  With that beard, he looks like he’d be on the streets with a beaver puppet, leaving angry voicemails for Oksana Grigorieva if he didn’t have something to keep him busy.

And finally, let’s usher in the holiday weekend with everybody’s favorite weekend activity.  DANCE PARTY!

Happy Labor Day, folks.

Aug 25 2010

Critical End! (The Podcast) #63: Down Deep

Joe Dante, James Cameron, and Roger Corman.  Guess which one doesn’t have an Oscar. Wrong! REVIEWED: Piranha, Piranha 2: The Spawning, Piranha 3D. PLUS: 3D Trailer Talk and the Ultimate Dolph Lundgren Fan.

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Jul 29 2010

“Piranha 3D” Trailer Will Make You Fall in Love With the 3D Fad All Over Again

Seriously, kids, THIS is the only reason that the money-grabbing Hollywood gimmick that is 3D should stick around a bit longer:

Did you see that?!  The piranha hissed at that girl…underwater!  And Eli Roth and Christopher Lloyd were both there!  IN 3D!  I smell Oscars!

Jun 24 2010

Ralph Macchio: Hollywood Good Boy

I have no interest whatsoever in this Karate Kid remake crap.  Why?  Because my Karate kid is Ralph Macchio.  Always was.  Always will be.  Here’s why:

May 4 2010

Critical End! (The Podcast) #52: Yo-vo-vitch


This podcast is your boyfriend now.  REVIEWED: A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010).  PLUS: Trailer talk!

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Apr 22 2010

Critical End! (The Podcast) #51: The Original Smooth

This podcast will try to ravish you disguised as a cuttlefish.  REVIEWED: Clash of the Titans (1981), Clash of the Titans (2010).  PLUS: A typhoon in your mouth!

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Mar 6 2010

Critical End! (The Podcast) #46: John Crazy


Seriously, the man’s face is 85% glasses.  REVIEWED: The Crazies (1973). The Crazies (2010).

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Feb 25 2010

Elm Street Remake Gets Trailer

It’s been a while since we’ve said anything about the upcoming Nightmare on Elm Street remake.  Last we spoke, we were excited, with a slight hint of doubt.  Possibly because we didn’t know much about the actual characters.  Now that the film is only two months away, the first trailer has hit the internet (myspace, to be exact), and it’s somewhat of a downer mostly due to the fact that I feel like I’ve seen most of the film already.  Sure, it’s not as bad as the Death at a Funeral remake, but there’s enough scenes shot the exact same as the original that I’m sure this is going to make a great drinking game for dateless horror nerds.  Judge for yourself and feel free to let us know in the comment section:

A Nightmare on Elm Street Trailer 2 in HD

Trailer Park Movies | MySpace Video

Feb 19 2010

Critical End! (The Podcast) #44: Deviled Eggs


Coooooooooooooooooookie Crisp! REVIEWED: The Wolf Man (1941), The Wolfman (2010).  PLUS: Some creepy stuff.

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