Mission? Impossibly awesome
Yeah yeah. I don’t want to ram yet another cheesy or fun or super cool trailer down your throats again today, but there’s been a bunch popping up this week. Maybe it’s just me, but so far it seems like this year’s best summer films are coming out this fall/winter.
Example? The giddy thrill I got when I first saw the trailer for this December release:
Rowan Atkinson Reborn
It’s been a while since Rowan Atkinson last lit up my local cineplex. Since another Mr. Bean is still out of the question (Atkinson said in several interviews that 2007’s Mr. Bean’s Holiday was the final send-off of the character), it looks like we’re going to have to settle with Johnny English Reborn. Sure, the first one was just so-so and performed as such in America, but you have to remember that it was a huge hit on it’s native UK where Rowan is still a box office draw.
Logan’s Badly Photoshopped Poster of the Week
As usual, I arrived a bit early for Super 8 (thoughts coming tomorrow!) this past weekend, and took some time to walk around the lobby to check out all of the new posters. I saw a few of my old friends, and also stumbled across one of the busiest posters I’ve seen in a while. Let’s take a look, but be warned: you may want to scroll slowly. If you try to take this in all at once, there is a slight chance of blowing your mind all over the keyboard.
Where to start? It appears that the studio had well over four hundred production photos and they wanted to use every fucking one of them. Besides the goofy hair, the only thing of even remote interest on this poster is a sword fight with fire on the bottom right. Heck, they could have at least given Milla a bust line or something.
Sam Neill to Jurassic Park 4: “Eat a Bowl of Suck!”
Now that director Joe Johnston has started making the press rounds for Captain America, it was only a matter of time before some reporter (Logan in a disguise, perhaps?) inquired about Jurassic Park 4. Always a sport, Johnston had the following to say:
“…it likely won’t be another storyline about a group of people struggling to survive a dinosaur attack…why would anybody go back to that island? It was hard enough to figure out the second and third reason for them to go, but it would take it off in a whole other trilogy basically, but when it gets to that level it’s sort of about studios and Steven [Spielberg’s] thing and who knows. I think we are at that point where we are due for another one if we are going to do it.”
Obviously, they already have my money. I’d be interested to see what new direction they would take the series. As for my other Jurassic Park BFF, Sam Neill? Not so much.
“I think we’ve told the story. I think it’s done.”
“I’ll tell you what. If Michael Crichton time travels, [and] writes the book…then absolutely.”
Fair enough, Sam, although knowing Michael Crichton, there is a chance he may have found a way to do that before his death. Whatever the case, I’ll miss you. I kind of figured you needed the work.
via Scifi Mafia
Critical End! (The Podcast) #88: La Coke-aracha!
REVIEWED: Source Code. This episode missed the train. But the next one’s in eight minutes. PLUS: BevCast 2.0.
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David E. Kelley to Adapt Stan Lee’s Stripperella
…at least that’s what I assume he decided to do halfway through developing Wonder Woman for television. And I think he’s really got something here. Adrianne Palicki only MOSTLY looks like some nerd took a nude photo of her from Playboy and photoshopped his fantasy on top of it.
Here’s a sneak peak of the sense-shattering first episode!
Critical End! (The Podcast) #85: Bicycle
After the last episode, you were never supposed to listen to this podcast again. Your plan has changed. REVIEWED: The Adjustment Bureau. PLUS: We play a game and fix the Oscars.
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News I Was Too Lazy to Mention When it Was News: Roundup Post
Happy Monday, kids. Here’s another batch of stuff that fell through the cracks…
Badass Digest reports that Shane Black, writer of Lethal Weapon and writer/director of Kiss Kiss Bang Bang may direct Iron Man 3. Good news, I say. I’m usually a fan of Black’s stuff, and he’s got just the sense of humor (and reporre with Downey Jr.) for the job. Of course, this would be his first comic book flick. But as you can see below, he’s been studying up:
Speaking of comics, /Film reveals that the producers for that Godawful Spider-Man musical have hired a new writer to fix it. They wanted someone who really understood the character of Spider-Man. What makes him appealing both from a visceral, action-focused perspective, as well as an emotional character-focused perspective. With that in mind, they’ve hired ANY 15-YEAR-OLD IN AMERICA.
I’ll tell you who needs his story rewritten (segue!), Tommy the Green Power Ranger AKA Jason David Frank. And yes I knew that name from memory because I saw it every weekday morning for a good four years straight. Sadly, according to Geekologie, JDF’s in a bit of a jam after cracking some dude in the jaw so hard, his teeth came out. To be fair, this was during an officially sanctioned mixed-martial arts bout. To be EXTRA fair, this was NOT the guy he was supposed to be fighting, but some random employee of the gym. Apparently he forgot the Power Ranger’s rule of escalation: start out with harmless gymnastics, wait for the bad guy to power up BEFORE you morph.
Hey, know what else was green and a part of my childhood? Gremlins, which was a horror comedy directed by the great Joe Dante. And now it looks like Dante may be returning to the genre with a new Vampire/Werewolf comedy called Monster Love. Yeah it’s kind of a tired concept at this point, but if anyone can inject some new life into it, it’s him. /Film’s got the pres release.
Finally, you know I love to end a roundup with a video, so check out this excellent compilation of conspicuous product placement in films put together by FilmDrunk (via /Film):
It’s a great video, but of course it’s missing one of Logan and my favorites, featuring a very-pre-famous George Clooney:
Critical End! (The Podcast) #84: Triple P
This week, we saw the one where Nicolas Cage escapes from hell wearing a leather jacket and kills a bunch of dudes. No, the OTHER one. REVIEWED: Drive Angry 3D. PLUS: Post-Oscar talk.
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Critical End! (The Podcast) #83: “Put gas in my wiener!” says Liam Neeson
If Betty Draper forgets about you, just go with it. REVIEWED: Unknown. PLUS: We get a studio audience!
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Critical End! (The Podcast) #80: I wish Glen came to town more often
This episode is waiting for you at the bottom of a swimming pool. REVIEWED: The Rite, The Mechanic.. PLUS: *grumble grumble*
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Critical End! (The Podcast) #77: A good spankin’
This episode can’t do nothing for ya, boy. REVIEWED: True Grit (1969), True Grit (2010). PLUS: The Oscar talk begins.
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Critical End! (The Podcast) #75: Bred for sexiness
Who me? No, no, I don’t live here. I’m just Johnny Depp. No problem, I get that a lot. REVIEWED: The Tourist. PLUS: Filler!
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