Mar 25 2011

Zemeckis: This is Your Wake Up Call

It would appear that there is a God after all.  Look like I owe that crazy religious fanatic on the corner of Broad and 3rd a Coke.  Join me in rejoicing as we all celebrate the following news:

Disney has dropped all plans for the Robert Zemeckis mo-cap remake of Yellow Submarine.  While I would like to think that this is because somebody at Disney sent out a memo that said, “Wait a minute, guys.  I just realized that the whole thing is fucking retarded”, the truth is more likely the fact that Mars Needs Moms, which Zemeckis produced, is on it’s way to being one of the biggest bombs in recent Disney history. 

Bob Zemeckis, let this be your wake up call.  We all miss your live action films.  You were brilliant.  This whole mo-cap things is, quite frankly, somewhat scary.  Even if it is the wave of the future, as you’ve said time and time again, I don’t think we’re ready for it.  Hell, most of us still haven’t come around to George Lucus’ new Star Wars additions, and those started in the ’90’s.  So, do us all a favor and relax, take some time away from the cruel online blog folks (CE! excluded, of course!  We’re your one stop source for sexy entertainment news!), and start thinking about that next live-action film, or series, that we all know you have saved up in that cute noggin’ of yours.

Zemeckis can see the future with his patented Zemec Specs!

Have a great weekend. 

via CHUD

Sep 24 2010

Roger Rabbit CG Test from 1998


The idea of a Who Framed Roger Rabbit sequel has been around for a while.  Last time Zemeckis talked about it, he said Roger would definitely be in 2D, but just for fun, here’s some blurry video of a CG Roger test done 12 years ago.

[Via Fred Entertainment]

Jan 15 2010

R.I.P. The Zemeckis Blockbuster

Happier times.

When Robert Zemeckis first announced that he was doing a motion capture remake of The Beatles’ Yellow Submarine for Walt Disney Pictures (Kids love stoners), I kind of laughed it off.  “Gee,” I thought.”That guy sure is getting nutty in his old age.”  Now that they’ve actually announced the cast, I’m just now realizing that this wasn’t some elaborate joke and Zemeckis has, for the most part, gone batshit insane.  Does anybody really want another crappy Zemeckis mo-cap film, let alone one that features that nerdy British guy from Harper’s Island as Ringo and Cary Elwes as George?

Zemeckis has always been one of my favorite directors, and for what it’s worth, I stood by him during Polar Express and his mostly nude Beowulf, but this has got to stop.  Do you think the guy even remembers how to make a real movie with actual people?  Raise your hand if you want him to make just one more straight forward adventure-comedy.  Do you see all those hands, Robert?  We all believe that you have at least one classic Hollywood blockbuster left in you.  Give us a call when you decide to make it.

May 23 2009

Disney to Pair Tired Retread with Antiquated Transportation

Long nose = wackiness!

Long nose = wackiness!

To get the obvious points out of the way:

My GOD. Do we really need another…

  • version of A Christmas Carol?
  • obnoxious Jim Carrey one-man-show?
  • creepy 3D Zemeckis feature?
  • Christmas movie that will be gone from theaters before Thanksgiving? (No really, look at the date on the poster.)

But ignoring all that, Disney is going to promote this thing by carting props and marketing around to 40 cities in a vintage train. At each stop they plan to unload a giant inflatable 3D theater and do sneak previews of the film. I hear about these train tours from time to time and I’m always left wondering, “Are there still trains? Are trains still a thing?”

Where, within these 40 cities, is this train going to stop? Is it like Harry Potter where you have to find the magical entrance to some hidden anachronistic train platform? Or is Disney building an entire rail system solely for the promotion of their poor man’s Grinch?

Either way, I look forward to similar stunts in the future. Perhaps a cross-country hot air balloon tour for Up, a Romanian caravan tour for the Pinocchio Blu-ray, or a sewer-traversing exercise ball tour for G-Force. Speaking of which, this is exquisite.