Critical End!

Until today, I had no idea this show existed.  If anyone out there knows where I can obtain episodes of T and T, it is your moral obligation to let me know.

Let a Milla Jovovich be your umbrella. REVIEWED: Resident Evil, Resident Evil: Apocalypse, Resident Evil: Extinction, Resident Evil: Afterlife.

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Chris Klein. Street Fighter. His entire performance. 2 minutes.

From /Film.

This week, Dolph Lundgren battles Randy Couture’s seven evil exes while Michael Cera invades Guatemala.  Where was Carl Weathers?  REVIEWED: The Expendables, Scott Pilgrim. PLUS: We earn our “explicit” rating.

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Just add Jason Lee and call it a day. Hollywood can’t stop turning old cartoons and comics into flesh-and-blood talkin’ pictures.

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The first time I saw this new teaser poster for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows I thought that it was amazingly hardcore…then confusion begin to set in.  Are they now planning on calling it HP7, despite the fact that the poster claims there’s a part 1 and 2?  Is that part 1 and 2 of 7 parts?  And if “it all ends here”, is that to say that it’s ending in both parts?  Oh yeah, and what the hell is a 2D theater?  Do they mean a “normal theater”?

I guess I won’t know the answer to any of these questions until I shell out about 30 bucks to see both movies in 3D.  Curse you, Warner Brothers!

Still: cool poster.    

UPDATE: Scroll down for the new teaser!

The new Harry Potter teaser is set to debut online later tonight.  As a huge nerd who just got through listening to all the British versions of the audio books for “authenticity”, you can bet I’m interested to see it.  Meanwhile, /Film’s got some leaked images of some of the teaser’s juiciest scenes…

Here’s the scene where Voldemort teaches Harry to pronounce Italian words so he can impress the sultry farmer’s daughter he meets on their impromptu trip to Siena.

Here’s the POV shot of Harry standing outside the farmer’s daughter’s door after having comically tripped down a hill and into a pile of manure on his way there.  If I remember the book correctly, the shot after this will reveal that he is pantsless.

And here’s a scene from the closely-guarded epilogue, in which Hermione agrees to a romantic Sleepless in Seattle style meeting with an estranged Ron, only to find that he’s a drunken insomniac lumberjack now.
(SPOILER: She settles.)

Anywho, I’ll post the trailer here when it shows up so we can see these thrilling moments in action!

UPDATE: Here ’tis!

Look, you’re a valuable member of the team, but your childish phobia is seriously impeding our plan and its chances of coming together.  Which I would love.  REVIEWED: The A-Team.  PLUS: Does Sam Jackson being mentioned in this podcast make you more or less likely to listen to it?

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Welcome to The Bevcast.  REVIEWED: Prince of Persia.  PLUS: Musings on the theater experience.

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There is something very creepy going on in the bottom right of this photo.

It comes as a surprise to pretty much nobody that Iron Man 2 was the number one film this past weekend.  While the actual box office itself didn’t set any #1 records (it placed fifth for all-time best grossing weekend), I was a bit surprised to learn that it did set the record for the widest release in motion picture history(4,380 theaters to be exact), beating former record holder The Dark Knight by a mere 14 theaters. 

Meanwhile, repeat business is supposed to make it’s overall box office climb even higher.  If you’re one of those nerds- I mean, people…no wait, nerds will do…that plan on seeing it again, why not check out some of the confirmed Easter eggs that CHUD dug up.

So, what did your pals here at Critical End! Think about it?  Find out tomorrow in our podcast!

Here’s the first image of Thor from Kenneth Branagh’s upcoming Marvel film.  I have to say, I’m surprised that they’re sticking this closely to the costume from the comics.  I thought they’d try to make it look a bit darker, maybe lose the big red cape.  I wonder how weird this guys’ going to look standing next to Iron Man in the Avengers movie?  On the upside, I still can’t really believe there’s going to be an Avengers movie.  All my 7th grade fantasies are coming true!  Except for the one about that chick who sat behind me in Math class…

[Yahoo! via /Film]

Honestly, I’m beginning to think the joke’s on me. There’s no way that anyone could think this shit looks watchable in the first place, but then they twist the knife even more with a terrifying CG dog dance, and the most overused licensed music in trailer history.

I feel like I’m going to show up at the Marmaduke premiere to discover that it’s actually a big, twisted surprise party for me like at the end of The Game.  “You bought the whole Marmaduke thing?!  We thought for sure you’d figure it out!”  And then I commit suicide.  It’s not exactly like The Game.

No Joke: This has to be one of the worst posters I’ve seen in a long time. 

I guess Summit Entertainment realizes that nobody actually sees these movies for the plot anyway (there was a book for that), so let’s just have our stars hang out in a dense fog and stare the public into submission.  Oh, and “It all begins…”?!  Isn’t this the third film?  They really should start warning me about these things so I don’t have to sit through the first two.  Also, I guess Stewart wasn’t available to pose that day, as it looks like they cropped two completely different images of her face together.  Check out those eyebrows!

Why so tense, guy?  REVIEWED: Repo Men (2010), Repo Man (1984).  PLUS: Trailer tales.

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