The whole Girl with the Dragon Tattoo phenomenon was one of those things that kind of came and went without me caring. I heard good buzz about the book and even better buzz about the Swedish films, but I still didn’t really care that much. Not that I have anything against it, it’s just that I already have a huge stack of both books and movies sitting around my apartment that I need to get to first.
That being said, this trailer really blew me away:
Watching it on a computer monitor really doesn’t do it justice. In a dark theater with booming speakers, it comes across as a full on assault on the senses. Yes, I understand that it’s nothing more than a glorified music video of sorts, but I love it when studios realize that the trailer to a film can be so much more than just clips of Adam Sandler getting smacked in the crotch set to bad voice-over. The upcoming Muppets film did it a few weeks back with their first teaser, and now this. Keep it up, Hollywood.
REVIEWED: X-Men: First Class. Maybe pause your aging process at She’s Having a Baby Kevin Bacon. PLUS: We’re planning the 100th episode and we need your help!
Hello, friend! This is a message from Logan and Ryan, or as some of you may know them, Ryan and Logan. They produce a weekly podcast through www.criticalend.com. Remember?
“Wait, what?”
If you don’t know, Critical End! is a show where we review movies and occasionally television shows. We’ve been doing it for awhile now and within the next month or so we’ll be releasing our 100th episode. We know. It’s a pretty big deal. But we need your help to make it happen!
“What kind of help?” you ask incredulously…
It’s easy. For our 100th show we’re going to change it up a bit and review things that are NOT movies or TV shows, and we’d love it if all the things we review were suggested by you. Got a book you think we’d like? We’ll review it. Want our take on your baby? She’s ugly; we’ll do 10 minutes on that at least. Wondering what we think of the abstract concept of “ennui”? We’ll teach Logan to pronounce it and get back to you. As long as your suggestion is not a movie or TV show, we’ll add it to the pile and do our level best to cover it on the 100th episode.
“I don’t have any good suggestions, really…”
We will also accept terrible suggestions.
“Sounds great! Where do I sign?”
Just comment on this post with your suggestion(s), or use our contact form, or get in touch with Logan or Ryan in whatever other way you choose. Just keep in mind that if your suggestion is something that would take awhile to review or involve us going somewhere or making any kind of advance arrangements, you’ll have to let us know soon so we’ll have some lead time.
Thanks for your help! And thanks for listening to Critical End! (If you don’t listen to Critical End! please disregard this thanks.)
I’m not much of a Star Wars fan, but I’ll join the cool kids and tell you that the prequels sucked. I used to blame George Lucas’s increase in creative control and decreased collaboration with more talented filmmakers. Until I learned the truth…
Ya know, Robert Rodriguez, when you made only one film exclusively for your kids, I was mostly able to ignore it. Six films, however, is a different story. I mean, the hell? How do you keep getting funding for this shit? Besides, aren’t your kids in college now? Shouldn’t you be making an all Mexican cast, 3D version of Animal House for them or something?
Anyway, let’s take a look at (gag) Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World, shall we? (throws up)
Talking dogs, Jessica Alba, and the use of fucking “4D”? What is that exactly, Rodriguez? Are you going to pay ushers to come into the theater and throw fake dog poo in my face? While you’re at it, why not pay them to apologize for your carrer post-Desperado?
And while I’m complaining, what’s up with your career, Joel McHale? Community has proven that you can act, so why are you skipping to the end of Chevy Chase’s career by jumping into family films that require no acting ability?
Now that director Joe Johnston has started making the press rounds for Captain America, it was only a matter of time before some reporter (Logan in a disguise, perhaps?) inquired about Jurassic Park 4. Always a sport, Johnston had the following to say:
“…it likely won’t be another storyline about a group of people struggling to survive a dinosaur attack…why would anybody go back to that island? It was hard enough to figure out the second and third reason for them to go, but it would take it off in a whole other trilogy basically, but when it gets to that level it’s sort of about studios and Steven [Spielberg’s] thing and who knows. I think we are at that point where we are due for another one if we are going to do it.”
Obviously, they already have my money. I’d be interested to see what new direction they would take the series. As for my other Jurassic Park BFF, Sam Neill? Not so much.
“I think we’ve told the story. I think it’s done.”
“I’ll tell you what. If Michael Crichton time travels, [and] writes the book…then absolutely.”
Fair enough, Sam, although knowing Michael Crichton, there is a chance he may have found a way to do that before his death. Whatever the case, I’ll miss you. I kind of figured you needed the work.
Chevy Chase shares his thoughts on "Happy Town" with old pal Sam Neill.
I probably should have posted this on Memorial Day, but if you’re feeling that mid-week slump and need a little inspiration, try this video on for size.
Hey, long time Critical End! fans! Remember us complaining about this godawful poster last year?
Click on the poster for a link to the retro CE! article!
Wow. Looking at that again, I still can’t figure out why the two sides of Kristen Stewart’s face just can’t get along. Anyway, It seems that Summit Entertainment learned their lesson last time about badly cropped posters, as they’ve taken an entirely new approach with the upcoming Breaking Dawn: Part One teaser poster. That approach? Laziness.
I’ve always wondered if Alan Rickman was truly into the Harry Potter films or just doing it for the check. That’s why it’s great to read this sweet, genuine note he penned for Empire Magazine about his experience with the character and his trio of young costars. I’m betting the cast and crew of Bottle Shock didn’t even get Christmas cards.
REVIEWED: Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides. Sorry, but after nine and a half hours of pirate movies, I have no witty comment for this description.
Since nearly every chain theater in America went digital, I’ve noticed something odd taking place. I can even remember the first film I noticed it: Saw III. With it’s mostly muted colors and overall grey tone, the film appeared, to put it bluntly, too dark. However, most of the Saw films were supposed to look like they were shot in a crypt, so I shrugged it off and returned to complaining about the group of underage teens who were talking and recording most of the film on their cell phones.
But then I started noticing it during other movies. Sherlock Holmes, Clash of the Titans, Shutter Island, and this weekend, Pirates if the Caribbean. Sure, I could see most of the action, but surely not all of these films were meant to look this dark and faded. I would mention it to others, and often did, but they would suggest I get my eyes checked and start talking about how clear digital projectors have made films.
Guess what? Turns out I was right.
Theaters are ripping us off and we have digital projectors and 3D films to blame. Even if you’re seeing a film in 2D. What am I on about? Roger Ebert has written a great article that discusses this very problem and how it’s quickly becoming the norm. Quick: Give it a read.
As usual, I’m glad to be right, however this looks to be a major problem that nobody is going to care to fix. Ebert recommends that we should complain and get a refund. He makes a great point, but I can already imagine the reaction I’ll get when I attempt to explain what’s wrong to some pimply faced teenager.
The hijinks of Danny DeVito can't save you now, Arnold.
Damn you, Arnold! I was all excited about your return to film and then you go and retroactively have had an affair, complete with love child. Now the Daily Beast reports that you’re putting your career on hold and that that wonderfully goofy Governator cartoon has been scrapped. I waited for however-many long years you were in office to get another taste of your unique brand of goofy machismo and just when the prize is in sight you decide it’s time to focus on your multiple families.
Look, obviously the Schwarzeneggers are going through a tough time, and I hope they work it out and get through this. But in the meantime, wouldn’t it be healthy for Arnold to lose himself in his work a little? And by his work I mean movies where he’s a violent robot, alien hunter, or undercover spy.
Until then, we’ll have to look elsewhere for over-the-top performances and badly written dialog. Like, say…video games!
Hello from Sunday night! That’s actually when I’m typing this. I’m going on vacation this week and because I’m can’t predict the future of the entertainment biz and still have to post something today, I decided to slap this together really fast. It’s not like anybody is going to read it anyway, right? I mean, after our first year or so most of you went on permanent vacation from this site. You know who you are. It seems like the only hits we get any more are from people searching for “hairy old men” and “steve guttenberg in dress”. Shame on all of you.
Here’s a random clip of Chevy Chase that you’ve never seen before. Why? Because you won’t watch it anyway and I’m on vacation. So fuck off.
…is sadly not online yet. [UPDATE: Yes it is! See below.] But I saw it before Pirates this weekend and I can confirm that it’s got just the tone I was looking for. I’ll update this post with a link as soon as it becomes available (I’m hoping sometime today). Until then, here’s an awesome custom-made theater policy ad that Sesame Street did for Lowes Theatres. Judging by how quiet Ernie and the other Henson characters are, I’d say this was just after his death:
I’ve read the 1938 children’s novel Mr. Popper’s Penguins several times, and let me just say that I’m glad they managed to work the wonderful scene when Mr. Popper teaches the penguins to hip hop dance into the upcoming film.
In all seriousness, I was thinking nice things about this film until the final scene of the trailer. It’s a great kids book and the updates seem to work, but why oh why must every film with CG animals feature them hip hop dancing?! If this is what CGI was meant for, I no longer want it. Please take it back.
