Critical End!

We didn’t want to post this episode, but a 17 year old is controlling our actions.  REVIEWED: Gamer.  PLUS: Logan’s Yoko.

Download it.

Subscribe in or via RSS.

You got your sociopolitical commentary in my sci-fi popcorn flick! You got your Sam Rockwell in my Sam Rockwell! It’s a science fiction double feature with District 9 and Moon. PLUS: Whither White Chicks 2?

Download it.

Subscribe in or via RSS.

This week, Michael Mann proves to film students everywhere that he’s one of them by making a long, rambling, plotless crime drama on DV. Except his stars Johnny Depp. REVIEWED: Public Enemies. PLUS: Newsies!

Download it.

Subscribe in or via RSS.

It’s thirty minutes of bile, robots, and the most anyone’s ever talked about Shia LaBeouf in one sitting. REVIEWED: Transformers, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. PLUS: Someone’s more racist than Logan!

Download it.

Subscribe in or via RSS.

Ryan Reynolds has just gone from “actor whose agent says they like comics to up their geek cred” to “actual factual capes and cowls fan” in my book.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine managed to waste both Deadpool as a character and Reynolds as an actor, but Reynolds has apparently insisted that the spin-off movie stick close to the source material, specifically Deadpool’s fourth-wall-breaking awareness that he’s in a work of fiction. Combine this with the speculation that the albino thing at the end of Wolverine was in fact a clone of Deadpool and not the real deal (meaning we can happily ignore it going forward) and we may actually get an excellent cinematic take on one of my favorite characters.

[Via /Film]

Wash day tomorrow? Nothing clean, right? REVIEWED: The Terminator, Terminator 2: Judgement Day, Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines, Terminator Salvation.

Download it.

Subscribe in or via RSS.

Another summer of reboots, remakes, and sequels begins here. Same old concepts, prettier actors. REVIEWED: Star Trek. PLUS: Ben Stiller’s Hair: Fact or Fiction?

Download it.

Subscribe in or via RSS.

Critical End! (The Podcast) #14 is too sexy to die. REVIEWED: X-Men Origins: Wolverine. PLUS: More nerd talk than you can shake a bone claw at. SUPER BONUS PLUS: For a faster and wackier show, try the Alternate Nerd Voice Ashcan Edition.

Download it.

Subscribe in or via RSS.

Jason Statham punches his way into our hearts as his threatens to stop beating. REVIEWED: Crank, Crank: High Voltage. PLUS: An old friend stops by for a game.

Download it.

Subscribe in or via RSS.

We put an action movie and a romantic comedy in a steel cage and force them to rumble to the death. REVIEWED: He’s Just Not That Into You, Taken. PLUS: Cut Logan’s hair for pennies a day!

(Side note: Yes, we are doing Friday the 13th. You get two shows this week. Stay tuned.)

Download it.

Subscribe in or via RSS.

Yes, for some reason there is a giant foam Jason Statham head in this movie. No joke.

Although I too have yet to see the first film, I have to say that I agree with Ryan’s assessment of the promotional material for Crank 2: Crank it Up (Not the real title, but it should be). However, I have to offer a few reasons why we will most likely be highly disappointed:

1. The trailer looks like it was shot on a home video camera by a director whose only exposure to film was a VH1 classic marathon of Limp Bizkit videos.

2. Speaking of director, it took not one, but two people to direct this film? Did they credit the guy who went on beer runs for them?

3. And finally, while I enjoyed the “tweak my nipple” poster that Ryan used, THIS is the definite poster that proves this movies worth.

Bottom line: Don’t see this sober. We’ll be there opening day with a case of Schlitz and a bottle of Jose Cuervo if anybody is interested. Ryan will even offer free body shots (or “Statham Shooters” as we like to call them) to the first ten fans.

Sure.

Look, I want to see this, okay? I haven’t even seen the first one. But there is something endearing about how ludicrous this film looks.

If it were asking me to take its premise seriously (Jason Statham needs constant jolts of electricity to stay alive while beating the shit out of the guys who stole his artificial heart…maybe?), I would scoff. But it is clearly an action comedy that is in on the joke of its own bat-shit-insanity.

And not like Snakes on a Plane, which was just a terrible movie with a few half-hearted jokes thrown in so they could claim they were being tongue-in-cheek, but a seemingly well constructed parody of action movies that just happens to also have some legitimately kickass action. Think Hot Fuzz but with slightly less marketing behind the funny.

I will very likely be disappointed. But I’m looking forward to it.

[Via I Watch Stuff]