Critical End!

Remember the ’90’s?  I sure do.  Saturday night.  Me and my skeleton crew would get together, walk to the abandoned drive- in, hook-up my Super Nintendo, and play “F-Zero” and “Zelda” until dawn.  Sure, time’s were tough, but back then we were playing with power.  Super power. 

Oh, and Paul Rudd was there.  Did I mention that?

I post this mainly because it’s awesome and I love it.  I also love Paul Rudd’s hair in it.  That is all.

It’s a slow news day, so I’m going to be a little more self-indulgent than usual today… 

Seeing that we’re still celebrating the 20th anniversary of Twin Peaks, I thought I’d post one of my favorite blasts from the pasts.  People tend to forget that during it’s first season, Twin Peaks was not only the highest rated show on television, but a cultural phenomenon.  A quick YouTube search will find you all sorts of wonderful parodies, both new and old, but my personal favorite is still Sesame Street‘s “MonsterpieceTheater” episode with Alistair Cookie.  Not only is it a riot for Peaks freaks (and mostly confusing for everybody else), but it’ll also lead you to spend an entire lunch hour watching old episodes of “Monsterpiece Theater”.*  Enjoy!

*Ryan reccomeneds “The 39 Stairs”, made by guy named Alfred.

Okay, it’s not that funny in execution. But it’s a funny idea, it’s short, and it reminds me to watch Conan in a week. Mission accomplished?

Pic shamelessly stolen from itslikethiscat.tumblr.com

Well, that’s about it, I’m betting.  Mad Men delivered its season finale last Sunday and I’m willing to guess it was the swan song for our favorite li’l psychopath Glen Bishop.

Last time on GlenWatch, I regaled you with the tale of Glen and Sally’s secret meetings.  When Betty discovered the two, she decided it was finally time for the family to move.  I thought this might be the cue for Glen to go full-on bonkers, but it turns out he’s handling it pretty well.  He showed up to the house when Betty was out and said goodbye to Sally who promised to send him postcards.  Betty came back just in time to be furious that he was there, and for Glen to wisely point out “Just because you’re sad, doesn’t mean everybody has to be.”  Then he walked out the door and out of the series.

He could be back, I suppose.  I’d certainly love it.  But if I know this show, he won’t be.  I see now that Glen existed to show us how crazy-go-nuts Betty is (she fired Carla the kindly housekeeper for letting Glen in) and now he’s off to return to his home planet.  It was a good run of creepiness, kids, but we’re going to have to do without Glen for now.

Feel free to post your favorite Glen moments in the comments.  And let’s cross our fingers that Don’s secretary-turned-wife will fill the awkwardness gap next season.

"Oh, hey, by the way, MURDER!"

Perhaps you thought I forgot about the promise I made to keep you abreast of any and all activities related to Glen Bishop of Mad Men fame.  Not so!  He just hasn’t shown up for ages, having disappeared into the B character wormhole I mentioned in my last post.  But he was back this week with a vengeance.

Well, not a vengeance so much.  Actually the creepiness quotient was pretty tame.  To be fair, it’d be hard to top the knife-waving, house-trashing, awkward-phone-calling antics that he’s already brought this season.  They probably should have spread that out a little.  But that’s not to say it was a total wash.

Apparently, Glen’s a chunky football player now.  He spends the whole episode hanging out in his jersey like a big shot.  I presume his mom finally got him into sports to teach him social skills, which is too bad because it’s severely mellowed his serial killer vibe.  The good news?  He spends the whole episode hanging out with Sally!  It appears that this disturbing relationship is totally on!  He offers her cigarettes as well as the “backwash” of his Coke!  Their chats focus mostly on Sally (Fun Fact: Sally Draper does not believe in heaven), but Glen does let his true colors shine through with more than a few catty remarks about how much he hates Betty.

I couldn't find any pics from the episode. So, here's Joan. Because I love you all.

Just to reiterate, Glen is putting the moves on the daughter of the woman he was dangerously obsessed with.  By way of regular picnics on an eerie dead lawn.  He’s still in the game, folks.  The climax occurs when Betty catches them together.  Sadly, Glen doesn’t demand that Sally run away with him, or light anyone on fire, as I was hoping.  He just runs off crying.

Back at the house, Sally tries to convince Betty that Glen’s not so bad.  She responds “I know him better than you do” which I think officially makes Betty more unhinged than Glen.  The whole thing ends with Betty telling the new husband that she wants to move, causing Sally to run upstairs and cry into the little braided knife decoration thing that Glen gave her.

We are at a critical point here, folks.  Things are coming to a head.  Glen’s next appearance will either escalate him to new levels of glorious insanity (Poisoning the dog?  Kidnapping Sally?  Menacing Betty with a gun he found under his mom’s pillow?) or see his character fizzle away like so many others have on this show just before they would have become really interesting.  I DEMAND SATISFACTION!  Write your congressmen, people.  MORE CRAZY GLEN!

Did you watch any of the new episodes of Futurama?  I ended up hearing mixed things.  Ryan liked it.  Some fat guy I carpool with hated it.  But the feeling I got from most people was sort of a “I could care less” vibe. 

Now you can care less on DVD and Blu-ray starting in December.  According to IGN, Futurama Vol.5, the first set to contain the new episodes, is heading your way on December 21st.  This is (barely) just in time for X’mas, which is great news as it means I don’t have to pay for something that may very well end up sucking.  

Oh, and IGN is also telling me that the set is going to “span two discs”.  Correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t the other sets have four or five?  Was the new season really that short?  Hmmm.

Compliment or complain about the new Futurama season in our comment section below.

Every five years or so Bret Easton Ellis reminds me why I love him.  Usually it’s in the form of a new book, but a few weeks back he did it in a new way: Parody.

While it’s easy to believe in the first few minutes that this promo for All That Glitters is an actual CW show, it soon veers into wonderful Ellis territory, then just becomes a flat out parody of his style and the type of shows that appear on the CW.  Oh, and MAJOR bonus points for getting Ellis to play himself.  I really hope he had something to do with the writing.

Big deal, it's been adapted before.

There have been rumors to this affect for a while now, but it appears that it’s now somewhat confirmed.  The James Cameron/Schwarzenegger classic True Lies will be morphed into a prime time TV series for ABC.

Honestly, I’m excited to see what they come up with.  The spy-with-a-family-life premise still has some juice (though, J.J. Abrams’ Undercovers is treading very similar ground), and Cameron is no stranger to producing TV shows, though they haven’t traditionally lasted very long.  Let’s just hope we don’t all have to buy 3D televisions to watch this.

The big question mark is who will take over Arnold’s role.  My pick?  Arnold.  But that’s mostly because I’m anxious to see him get back to acting.  He could at least cameo as a rival spy or something, right?  Ease back into things a bit.  Actually, rebooting old Arnold movies as TV shows could be a great new trend!  Imagine Last Action Hero as a Saturday morning cartoon.  Each episode, Arnold and the kid go on a new crazy adventure in a different movie.  It’ll be like the animated version of Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventures but without all the annoying, government-mandated learning!

Did you remember to buy your Community season 1 DVD set today?  You’ve only got a couple of days to watch all 25 episodes before season 2 premieres on Thursday.  Better get to work!

In addition to the first season release, it’s worth noting for all of you Community diehards out there that today is also the release date for the season 1 soundtrack.  Unlike most television soundtracks that feature incidental and background music, the Community album is notable for containing every song the cast performed this past season.  Tracks of interest include rockin’ party classics like “Pierce You Are a B”, three tracks from Chevy, Troy and Abed’s rendition of “Somewhere Out There”, and the full-length version of The 88’s Community theme.  Check out Amazon and iTunes for more info.

Off to watch season 1!  Happy Community week, kids! 

Man, this show just keeps catering to me more and more. It wasn’t enough to bring Chevy Chase and Joel McHale together in one half hour block of funny, now they’re upping the ante by announcing that this season will feature a stop-motion Christmas episode, presumably as an homage to the Rankin-Bass claymation specials of old.  Expect Abed to be referred to as a “misfit toy” at least once.

This news is even more exciting in that it marks one of very few times we’ve seen Chevy do an animated character.  He did the American version of Doogal a while back, and a few guest voices here and there, but it’s never been a major chunk of his career.  Which is a shame, since Fletch would have made an AWESOME animated series.  Imagine a cartoon Fletch strutting to this theme song and tell me I’m wrong…

Thanks to reader Todd for the tip!

Until today, I had no idea this show existed.  If anyone out there knows where I can obtain episodes of T and T, it is your moral obligation to let me know.

Suitable for framing

Did you remember to buy Boy Meets World seasons 1 to 3 on September 7th?  Well, if you didn’t then somebody did, as Lionsgate is going ahead with their plans to release season 4!  TVShowsOnDVD.com is reporting that all 22 episodes from the never before released season (see full story here) are arriving on December 7th.  That’s just in time for you to buy it for me!

Until then, why not catch up by buying seasons 1 through 3 on Amazon for only 12 bucks each?  That’s 67 episodes for less than 40 bucks, kids!

(Thanks to CE! reader Todd for the tip)

Lately I’ve been pretty rough on zombies.  Honestly, I’m just mostly tired of comedic zombie films.  I feel like I’ve seen it all.  That being said, I expect FearNet’s upcoming new show Zombie Roadkill to suck.  However, this teaser does anything but suck:

I love my girlfriend.  Who else would be willing to both make out with me and watch Cabin Boy in the same afternoon?  Granted, I think she laughs more at the thought of making out with me than she does at Cabin Boy, but I appreciate that she’s still willing to watch all of my favorite movies and shows.

Of course, I’d be a terrible boyfriend if I didn’t return the favor, which is why I just smiled when she asked if I wanted to watch the series premiere of the CW’s Hellcats with her.
“Couldn’t we just make out instead?” I asked.
“Don’t make me laugh, Logan.  Now put your pants back on.  The show’s starting.”
“Okay,” I sighed.  “But the pants are staying off, thank you very much.”

Six people with a combined total of three complete shirts.

Taking place in a post-apocalyptic future where the male population is hunted to extinction, Hellcats tells the story of- no, wait.  That’s not right.  Hellcats is about college cheerleading.  Aly Michalka (who my girlfriend tells me is from some Disney Channel show) and Ashley Tisdale (who I recognize as the girl from Disney’s High School Musical series, but with a different nose) star as two polar opposite cheerleaders who have to team up if they want to beat a rival college and save their college cheerleading program.  Aly’s Marti is a tomboy (hence the name “Marti”) who likes to do things her way, while Ashley’s Savannah is a stuck-up brat (hence the name “Savannah”) who likes to keep it by the books.  Can’t we all just get along?

HELLCATS! (in color)

Yes, it’s all very Bring It On, but for what it’s worth, the show knows that.  There’s even a rather clever training montage where Marti buys a copy of Bring It On and learns to cheer from watching it.  Sure, she is a bit too quick to fall for all of this cheerleading stuff (the episode opens with her verbally bashing the cheerleading squad and ends with her joining it), but I’m glad they didn’t waste my time over a series of episodes when we all knew the direction it was headed.

Meanwhile, Ashley Tisdale has the annoying, perky girl routine down pat.  Say what you want about her, but she knows how to play just the right amount of mean so that you still like her in a certain way.  Obviously, the fact that both of these gals are Disney kids helps, as they already know how to shake their combined bootys (booti?) when the show calls for it, which it does quite a bit.  I counted a total of three montages in 45 minutes, which may have been slightly unnecessary, but this is a show about cheerleaders after all.

In the end, it’s hard to come down on Hellcats.  Granted, I’m not the target audience for the show (it also doesn’t help that I’m hetrosexual), but it does just enough to make you want to keep watching, which is all I can ask from a CW show.  It hits it’s marks and even manages to land a few bases,  basket tosses, and cradle catches as well. 

That’s…um…cheerleading terminology, folks.

Not gay.

Hellcats Pilot Episode 
Rating:  6 out of 10

With Labor Day weekend at hand, I thought I’d cram a lot of awesomness into one mega post.

First up, James Cameron thinks he owns the concept of 3D and takes it upon himself to call out Piranha 3D as “exactly an example of what we should not be doing in 3-D.”  This prompts Piranha producer Mark Canton to point out that not everyone can “take ten years using other people’s money to make and market a film.”  All I can say is that there was ritual mating in both movies and the fish film did it right.

Shamelessly stolen from cbsnews.com

Elsewhere, I Watch Stuff reports that CBS reports that 60 Minutes and Vanity Fair report that nobody gives a crap how evil Mel Gibson is.  76% of those polled said that the scandal would have no effect on their likelihood of seeing a new Mel Gibson movie. If America can separate Gibson the man from Gibson the actor, I suppose I can start going back to my favorite Starbucks, despite that one barista’s outspoken views on abortion.

Here’s Doctor Who favorite David Tennant from the upcoming remake of Fright Night.  I’ve never seen the original, but you can pretty much take any beloved genre actor and cast them as a magician and I’ll see that movie.  Just ask The Prestige.

Speaking of awe-inspiring images, Juan Pablo Bravo made a HUGE size-comparison chart of just about any Hanna-Barbera character you can think of, 600 in all.  Click the tiny sample below for the full shebang.

Almost as cool as knowing the exact relative heights of the Hair Bear Bunch, is Conan O’Brien announcing the name of his new TBS show.  It’s a good thing he’s getting back to work.  With that beard, he looks like he’d be on the streets with a beaver puppet, leaving angry voicemails for Oksana Grigorieva if he didn’t have something to keep him busy.

And finally, let’s usher in the holiday weekend with everybody’s favorite weekend activity.  DANCE PARTY!

Happy Labor Day, folks.