Sep 28 2010

Coming This Fall to the CW…

Every five years or so Bret Easton Ellis reminds me why I love him.  Usually it’s in the form of a new book, but a few weeks back he did it in a new way: Parody.

While it’s easy to believe in the first few minutes that this promo for All That Glitters is an actual CW show, it soon veers into wonderful Ellis territory, then just becomes a flat out parody of his style and the type of shows that appear on the CW.  Oh, and MAJOR bonus points for getting Ellis to play himself.  I really hope he had something to do with the writing.

Sep 23 2010

Joe Dante Acknowledges Logan’s Existence!

I have three celebrity heroes.  My goal in life is to some day meet each of them, shake their hand, look them straight in the eye, and simply say “thank you”.  After several years, I could only mark Ray Davies off of this list…until now.

Thanks to the power of the Internet, I managed to corner director Joe Dante on Facebook via his Trailers From Hell page and ask him the most obvious of questions: Can I have a tour of your garage?

His response, as posted on YouTube:

Granted, it’s not a handshake and a “Stay gold, Ponyboy”, but it’s a start!  I firmly believe that some day I will get that tour…seconds before the cops show up. 

Thanks, Joe!

Aug 17 2010

Riggs Crashes Car, Murtaugh Swears He’s Really Too Old For This Shit

It appears that ol’ wacky pants Mel Gibson is at it again.  EXTRA is reporting that this time he crashed his car into a hillside in Malibu last Sunday night.  According to CHP Public Information Officer Leland Tang, “Gibson told officers in the field he did not know how the car drifted out of the lane and into the hillside.” 

Gibson then went on to claim that he also didn’t know who made all of those calls to Oksana Grigorieva, where babies came from, or just what the hell a CHP Public Information Officer is exactly.

Gibson was heading home after a fishing trip in Fiji with his two sons after judging a Miss Thunderdome competition in Bartertown.

Aug 12 2010

Jason Schwartman: Weather Man

FOX 5 News out of Atlanta was lucky enough to score an interview with both Jason Schwartzman and Michael Cera as they were traveling the country promoting Scott Pilgrim vs the World.  Honestly, I could care less what they said about the film.  What I really want to hear them talk about is the weather in Atlanta.

A million points to the FOX 5 News team for allowing this to happen.  I just hope nobody in Atlanta needed to know what the actual weather was like that day.

Jul 28 2010

Goonies Comes to Blu-ray with Oddly Misleading Cover Art


Logan and I joked that a 25th Anniversary blu-ray edition of Goonies was certainly on the way, and sure enough here it is.  Now, when I finally saw the film for the first time, I thought the DVD cover was a bit misleading.

Here’s the DVD version:

So, yeah, they do end up in that cave at the climax of the film, and there is a lot of treasure, though they never stand atop piles of the stuff.  And that’s all in the last 15 minutes.  But I get it, that’s probably the part of the film everybody remembers and it’s being exaggerated for the sake of marketing.  No big deal.

Now here’s the Blu-ray art:

Okay, fun’s fun, but that’s a bit disingenuous.  Yes, this could be considered a re-imagining of the final shot, when the adventure is completely over.  But if you haven’t seen the film, this implies that the Goonies set sail for high seas shenanigans, which just isn’t true.  Most of the movie takes place in dark tunnels.  I realize they wanted something visually distinct from the DVD, but it seems a shame to throw out that classy 80’s painted artwork in favor of a barely-related photoshop job.

Anywho, the new set comes with a ton of goodies, including a a brand new Goonies board game for all your drunken board game party needs.  Look for it November 2nd.

[Via /Film]

Jul 13 2010

Mel Gibson Crazier than a Large Order of Crazy Bread

On the set of his new film: Unemployment.

Have you heard the news?  It seems that several news sites are reporting that Mel Gibson is crazy.  Rest assured that your pals here at Critical End! will let you know all about it once we figure out what the actual news part of this story is.

Jun 24 2010

Ralph Macchio: Hollywood Good Boy

I have no interest whatsoever in this Karate Kid remake crap.  Why?  Because my Karate kid is Ralph Macchio.  Always was.  Always will be.  Here’s why:

Jun 1 2010

David Lynch Hates Your iPhone

While watching Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time for the upcoming podcast, I couldn’t help but notice that the guy two rows down from me was watching what looked like a completely different movie on his iPhone.  Now, I can’t explain the logic behind paying nine bucks just to sit in a theater and watch a completely different movie on a three and a half inch screen, but I can explain why you shouldn’t do it in the first place.

Or better yet, my old pal David Lynch can do it for me:

May 26 2010

Good Idea/Bad Idea


Hey!  They’re making new Wile E. Coyote shorts! And they’re showing them IN FRONT OF MOVIES like the old days!  Sure they’re in 3D, which seems unnecessary, but whatever.  If they’re well-produced who cares?

What was that?  They’re putting the first one in front of Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore?  Okay, awesome.  I’m going to go strap myself to some dynamite.

May 13 2010

(Insert Immature “Hole 3D” Joke Here)

It’s been a while since Joe Dante had a hit theatrical release, which is somewhat sad as he shaped a lot of childhood’s in the 80’s and early 90’s with films like Gremlins, Explorers, Innerspace, and yes, even Matinee (Hey, I loved it as a kid).  He tried to bring the same child-like touch to films like Small Solders (loved it) and Looney Tunes: Back in Action (seriously underrated), but has failed to really connect with an audience of either kids or adults for some time now.

Well, it looks like he’s going to take one more shot at it, this time with the writer of Vacancy behind him.  The Hole, despite it’s unfortunate name, looks to be spooky childhood fun along the lines of Dante’s “It’s a Good Life” segment from Twilight Zone: The Movie.  And it’s Dante’s first 3D film to boot!

No word yet on an actual theatrical release, which is sad as we may never see this is in actual 3D.  Until then, I guess we’ll have to look forward to the upcoming 3D remake of Joe’s 1978 cheese classic Piranha in August.

May 7 2010

Coming Soon: Vincenzo Natali Film School

If you listened to our last podcast, you’re probably aware of my love for director Vincenzo Natali, despite the fact that I can’t pronounce his name and I thought he was French, when in actuality he was born in Detroit.  Do I really know what the hell I’m even talking about?  As usual, the answer is no. 

With this in mind, I think it may be time to pull a much loved (by us anyway) Critical End! Film School session and review his first three full length films.  For those of you who haven’t been paying attention in class, this is along the lines of what I did previously for the Silent Night, Deadly Night series, and what Ryan is doing currently for Alec Baldwin‘s career.  The three films that I’ll be taking a critical look at in the coming weeks are Cube, Cypher, and Nothing.  All three of these films are available on Netflix, and I can also tell you that two of them are already classics in my book, so why not rent them now so you can be ready to disagree with me when the time comes?

Oh yeah, and as some of you may realize, all of this is in preparation for a film called Splice which opens in a few weeks.  We’ll be reviewing that as well.

Apr 2 2010

The Muppets: Stand By Me


Happy Easter, kids.

Feb 11 2010

What She Said


That’s it.

Jan 5 2010

Stephen King’s Top Films of 2009

This man has more money than you'll ever see in your entire life.

In the upcoming week you’ll get a chance to both hear and read your ol’ pals Logan and Ryan’s “Top Ten Films of 2009” lists.  Until then, why not read what Stephen King has to say over at Entertainment Weekly.  I think he’s put together a great list (featuring several films that have made most peoples “worst” lists), and I’m especially fond of what he had to say about both the original Last House on the Left and the 2009 remake.

Nov 24 2009

Great thing or greatest thing?