FireStats error processing pending hits: Database error: You have an error in your SQL syntax; check the manual that corresponds to your MariaDB server version for the right syntax to use near '"' ip,CAST(0x0 AS UNSIGNED) ip0, CAST(0xffff00000000 AS UNSIGNED) ip1 UNION S...' at line 1

MySQL Version: 10.6.21-MariaDB-cll-lve
SQL Query:
SELECT '155.2.194.8' ip,CAST(0x0 AS UNSIGNED) ip0, CAST(0xffff9b02c208 AS UNSIGNED) ip1 UNION SELECT '217.113.194.43' ip,CAST(0x0 AS UNSIGNED) ip0, CAST(0xffffd971c22b AS UNSIGNED) ip1 UNION SELECT ''' ip,CAST(0x0 AS UNSIGNED) ip0, CAST(0xffff00000000 AS UNSIGNED) ip1 UNION SELECT '"' ip,CAST(0x0 AS UNSIGNED) ip0, CAST(0xffff00000000 AS UNSIGNED) ip1 UNION SELECT '217.113.194.48' ip,CAST(0x0 AS UNSIGNED) ip0, CAST(0xffffd971c230 AS UNSIGNED) ip1 UNION SELECT '217.113.194.49' ip,CAST(0x0 AS UNSIGNED) ip0, CAST(0xffffd971c231 AS UNSIGNED) ip1 UNION SELECT '217.113.194.44' ip,CAST(0x0 AS UNSIGNED) ip0, CAST(0xffffd971c22c AS UNSIGNED) ip1 UNION SELECT '217.113.194.45' ip,CAST(0x0 AS UNSIGNED) ip0, CAST(0xffffd971c22d AS UNSIGNED) ip1 UNION SELECT '217.113.194.244' ip,CAST(0x0 AS UNSIGNED) ip0, CAST(0xffffd971c2f4 AS UNSIGNED) ip1 UNION SELECT '154.54.249.197' ip,CAST(0x0 AS UNSIGNED) ip0, CAST(0xffff9a36f9c5 AS UNSIGNED) ip1 UNION SELECT '217.113.194.42' ip,CAST(0x0 AS UNSIGNED) ip0, CAST(0xffffd971c22a AS UNSIGNED) ip1 UNION SELECT '217.113.194.50' ip,CAST(0x0 AS UNSIGNED) ip0, CAST(0xffffd971c232 AS UNSIGNED) ip1 UNION SELECT '217.113.194.46' ip,CAST(0x0 AS UNSIGNED) ip0, CAST(0xffffd971c22e AS UNSIGNED) ip1 UNION SELECT '217.113.194.51' ip,CAST(0x0 AS UNSIGNED) ip0, CAST(0xffffd971c233 AS UNSIGNED) ip1 UNION SELECT '217.113.194.47' ip,CAST(0x0 AS UNSIGNED) ip0, CAST(0xffffd971c22f AS UNSIGNED) ip1 UNION SELECT '85.208.96.195' ip,CAST(0x0 AS UNSIGNED) ip0, CAST(0xffff55d060c3 AS UNSIGNED) ip1 UNION SELECT '42.200.230.171' ip,CAST(0x0 AS UNSIGNED) ip0, CAST(0xffff2ac8e6ab AS UNSIGNED) ip1 UNION SELECT '114.119.130.199' ip,CAST(0x0 AS UNSIGNED) ip0, CAST(0xffff727782c7 AS UNSIGNED) ip1 UNION SELECT '185.191.171.19' ip,CAST(0x0 AS UNSIGNED) ip0, CAST(0xffffb9bfab13 AS UNSIGNED) ip1 UNION SELECT '66.249.79.196' ip,CAST(0x0 AS UNSIGNED) ip0, CAST(0xffff42f94fc4 AS UNSIGNED) ip1 UNION SELECT '66.249.79.197' ip,CAST(0x0 AS UNSIGNED) ip0, CAST(0xffff42f94fc5 AS UNSIGNED) ip1 UNION SELECT '114.119.133.14' ip,CAST(0x0 AS UNSIGNED) ip0, CAST(0xffff7277850e AS UNSIGNED) ip1 UNION SELECT '52.167.144.169' ip,CAST(0x0 AS UNSIGNED) ip0, CAST(0xffff34a790a9 AS UNSIGNED) ip1 UNION SELECT '114.119.134.152' ip,CAST(0x0 AS UNSIGNED) ip0, CAST(0xffff72778698 AS UNSIGNED) ip1 UNION SELECT '66.249.79.202' ip,CAST(0x0 AS UNSIGNED) ip0, CAST(0xffff42f94fca AS UNSIGNED) ip1 UNION SELECT '114.119.146.70' ip,CAST(0x0 AS UNSIGNED) ip0, CAST(0xffff72779246 AS UNSIGNED) ip1 UNION SELECT '114.119.131.245' ip,CAST(0x0 AS UNSIGNED) ip0, CAST(0xffff727783f5 AS UNSIGNED) ip1 UNION SELECT '114.119.158.50' ip,CAST(0x0 AS UNSIGNED) ip0, CAST(0xffff72779e32 AS UNSIGNED) ip1 UNION SELECT '57.141.2.9' ip,CAST(0x0 AS UNSIGNED) ip0, CAST(0xffff398d0209 AS UNSIGNED) ip1 UNION SELECT '193.70.44.235' ip,CAST(0x0 AS UNSIGNED) ip0, CAST(0xffffc1462ceb AS UNSIGNED) ip1 UNION SELECT '85.208.96.212' ip,CAST(0x0 AS UNSIGNED) ip0, CAST(0xffff55d060d4 AS UNSIGNED) ip1 UNION SELECT '195.191.219.131' ip,CAST(0x0 AS UNSIGNED) ip0, CAST(0xffffc3bfdb83 AS UNSIGNED) ip1 UNION SELECT '85.208.96.209' ip,CAST(0x0 AS UNSIGNED) ip0, CAST(0xffff55d060d1 AS UNSIGNED) ip1 UNION SELECT '17.241.227.78' ip,CAST(0x0 AS UNSIGNED) ip0, CAST(0xffff11f1e34e AS UNSIGNED) ip1 UNION SELECT '185.191.171.16' ip,CAST(0x0 AS UNSIGNED) ip0, CAST(0xffffb9bfab10 AS UNSIGNED) ip1 UNION SELECT '57.141.2.23' ip,CAST(0x0 AS UNSIGNED) ip0, CAST(0xffff398d0217 AS UNSIGNED) ip1 UNION SELECT '17.241.227.173' ip,CAST(0x0 AS UNSIGNED) ip0, CAST(0xffff11f1e3ad AS UNSIGNED) ip1 UNION SELECT '185.191.171.1' ip,CAST(0x0 AS UNSIGNED) ip0, CAST(0xffffb9bfab01 AS UNSIGNED) ip1 UNION SELECT '95.215.145.128' ip,CAST(0x0 AS UNSIGNED) ip0, CAST(0xffff5fd79180 AS UNSIGNED) ip1 UNION SELECT '85.208.96.193' ip,CAST(0x0 AS UNSIGNED) ip0, CAST(0xffff55d060c1 AS UNSIGNED) ip1 UNION SELECT '157.55.39.201' ip,CAST(0x0 AS UNSIGNED) ip0, CAST(0xffff9d3727c9 AS UNSIGNED) ip1 UNION SELECT '85.208.96.199' ip,CAST(0x0 AS UNSIGNED) ip0, CAST(0xffff55d060c7 AS UNSIGNED) ip1 UNION SELECT '85.208.96.194' ip,CAST(0x0 AS UNSIGNED) ip0, CAST(0xffff55d060c2 AS UNSIGNED) ip1 UNION SELECT '185.191.171.4' ip,CAST(0x0 AS UNSIGNED) ip0, CAST(0xffffb9bfab04 AS UNSIGNED) ip1 UNION SELECT '52.167.144.187' ip,CAST(0x0 AS UNSIGNED) ip0, CAST(0xffff34a790bb AS UNSIGNED) ip1 UNION SELECT '85.208.96.202' ip,CAST(0x0 AS UNSIGNED) ip0, CAST(0xffff55d060ca AS UNSIGNED) ip1 UNION SELECT '85.208.96.196' ip,CAST(0x0 AS UNSIGNED) ip0, CAST(0xffff55d060c4 AS UNSIGNED) ip1 UNION SELECT '185.191.171.8' ip,CAST(0x0 AS UNSIGNED) ip0, CAST(0xffffb9bfab08 AS UNSIGNED) ip1 UNION SELECT '192.95.29.138' ip,CAST(0x0 AS UNSIGNED) ip0, CAST(0xffffc05f1d8a AS UNSIGNED) ip1 UNION SELECT '114.119.145.193' ip,CAST(0x0 AS UNSIGNED) ip0, CAST(0xffff727791c1 AS UNSIGNED) ip1 UNION SELECT '223.109.252.160' ip,CAST(0x0 AS UNSIGNED) ip0, CAST(0xffffdf6dfca0 AS UNSIGNED) ip1 UNION SELECT '5.183.130.161' ip,CAST(0x0 AS UNSIGNED) ip0, CAST(0xffff05b782a1 AS UNSIGNED) ip1 UNION SELECT '185.191.171.17' ip,CAST(0x0 AS UNSIGNED) ip0, CAST(0xffffb9bfab11 AS UNSIGNED) ip1 UNION SELECT '66.249.79.195' ip,CAST(0x0 AS UNSIGNED) ip0, CAST(0xffff42f94fc3 AS UNSIGNED) ip1 UNION SELECT '207.46.13.111' ip,CAST(0x0 AS UNSIGNED) ip0, CAST(0xffffcf2e0d6f AS UNSIGNED) ip1 UNION SELECT '57.141.2.28' ip,CAST(0x0 AS UNSIGNED) ip0, CAST(0xffff398d021c AS UNSIGNED) ip1 UNION SELECT '85.208.96.205' ip,CAST(0x0 AS UNSIGNED) ip0, CAST(0xffff55d060cd AS UNSIGNED) ip1 UNION SELECT '180.102.110.139' ip,CAST(0x0 AS UNSIGNED) ip0, CAST(0xffffb4666e8b AS UNSIGNED) ip1 UNION SELECT '85.208.96.204' ip,CAST(0x0 AS UNSIGNED) ip0, CAST(0xffff55d060cc AS UNSIGNED) ip1 UNION SELECT '52.167.144.179' ip,CAST(0x0 AS UNSIGNED) ip0, CAST(0xffff34a790b3 AS UNSIGNED) ip1 UNION SELECT '114.119.135.229' ip,CAST(0x0 AS UNSIGNED) ip0, CAST(0xffff727787e5 AS UNSIGNED) ip1

Silent Night, Deadly Night 3: Better Watch Out!

It’s once again that time of year when families gather around the warm glow of the television and watch such holiday classics as It’s a Wonderful Life, A Christmas Story, Home Alone, and National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation to name a few.  Sure, your pals here at Critical End! watch those too, but when the hour grows late, the fire has died down, and the kids from Ryan’s third marriage have all gone to bed, that’s when the real Christmas fun begins.  Logan mixes his “special” eggnog (Ingredients: Eggnog, mostly booze), while Ryan warms up the DVD player for those holiday slasher films known as Silent Night, Deadly Night.  This year, in honor of the birth of Christ our savior (Okay, and the release of Parts 3 to 5 on DVD), we thought we’d let Logan share his opinion on each film in a special 5 part series each week until Christmas. 

silent-night-deadly-night-3This week Logan looks at Silent Night, Deadly Night 3: Better Watch Out!

Body Count: 11 (But once again, 3 of those are from clips of the first movie)

Best Death Scene: According to this film, the worst thing you could say to somebody in a coma is, “Who’s your favorite singer?  Perry Coma?”  Chances are they’ll wake up and kill you for telling lame jokes.

Let’s get one thing straight: Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2, despite it’s awesome gayness, was not a box office hit…or maybe it was, but only because it cost around ten bucks and a six pack of Coors to make.  Whatever the case, the powers that be decided that it was time for the series to return to what made it huge in the first place: home video.  1989’s Silent Night, Deadly Night 3: Better Watch Out! was the first of three direct to video sequels, and the only one not to feature Clint Howard.  For many, that’s all the review you’ll need to read right there.

BOO!  Hey, kids!  Mickey rooney here to remind you that I hate these movies!  See you in Part 5!

BOO! Hey, kids! Mickey Rooney here to remind you that I hate these movies! See you in Part 5!

It’s been six years since Ricky went on his Christmas Eve killing spree.  It appears that he suffered some sort of head injury at the end of the last film that would cause a team of doctors to encase his brain in a glass dome.  While this sounds like the coolest thing since Jason got his hockey mask, it’s actually far, far from it.  Due to this, Ricky now stumbles around drooling and acting like Frankenstein’s monster, which, granted, isn’t that far from the way he acted in the last two films, now he just has an excuse.  Oh, and the movie finds every excuse possible to put him in a goofy hat to cover the dome.  This also isn’t as great as it sounds.  Why?  Because for some reason the director (who has the impossibly awesome name “Monte Hellman”), seemed to be under the impression that this was a drama.  The story concerns an annoying blind girl who has some sort of psychic connection with the dome-headed Ricky.  While it takes most crappy horror series a while to get to “the sequel with the hot clairvoyant chick” (see Friday the 13th Part VIII, or Halloween 6 in which said hot chick is Paul Rudd), the Silent Night, Deadly Night series must have known that it was going to fizzle out early and decided to jump the gun.  Anyway, for reasons beyond me, blind chick agrees to spend Christmas with her brother (one of two Twin Peaks stars who appear in the film), and his destined-to-have-a-nude-scene girlfriend.  Everything is going fine until Ricky literally hitchhikes to them (would you pick up a guy in a hospital gown with a glass dome on his head?) in an attempt to “connect” with annoying blind girl.  Oh, and for some reason I Spy‘s Robert Culp is there too, but only to promote some new gadget called a “cell phone”.  It’s all very loony.

While Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 1 was trashy fun, and Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 was a train wreck classic, Better Watch Out! is just bad.  It would appear that the killer Santa that outraged parents in 1984 had finally run it’s course, and as the series moved into the 90’s we all knew that there was only one thing that could save it…

Next week: …KILLER BUGS.

Silent Night, Deadly Night 3: Better Watch Out!
 Rating: ★★★☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
3 out of 10

 


Comments are closed.