The Mars Movie Database is nowhere near as awesome.

The Mars Movie Database is nowhere near as awesome.

Let’s face it: IMDB.com is awesome. Where else can you confirm that Chevy Chase did indeed star in eight episodes of a Swedish TV show called Hjälp!? However, IMDB also has a dark, dark, I’m talkin’ pitch black side as well…and it’s called the “Movie/TV News” section. What follows are a few actual headlines from the last few hours. You’ve been warned.

Monkey Goes Ape on Biggs
It was a lot like that movie Congo, except you were rooting for the monkeys.

Brody Eyed Fox Flash
A lot of times with these IMDB headlines, I find it more fun to just skip over the story and try to guess what it might be about based on the headline. Here’s what I think: Roy Scheider’s character from Jaws loves to watch FOXnews.
(UPDATE: As it turns out, this is a story about Megan Fox’s boobs! A must read!)

and finally…

Bacall Blasts Twilight Vampires
Okay, so this is actually an interesting one. It would seem that film legend Lauren Bacall didn’t like Twilight. Here’s what she had to say about it on Twitter:

Yes, I saw Twilight – my granddaughter made me watch it, she said it was the greatest vampire film ever. After the ‘film’ was over I wanted to smack her across her head with my shoe, but I do not want a (tell-all) book called Grannie Dearest written on me when I die. So instead I gave her a DVD of Murnau’s 1922 masterpiece Nosferatu and told her, ‘Now that’s a vampire film!’ And that goes for all of you! Watch Nosferatu instead!

Wait wait wait. Lauren Bacall has a Twitter account?! Did I read that right?! I don’t even have a Twitter account! My God, man! The woman was born in 1924! IMDB, I think you missed the real news story here.

Have a great week, folks.

One Response to “Headlines!”

  • Ryan Says:

    Wait a minute, I smell a rat here. Doesn’t Twitter limit you to like 140 characters? That quote is over 400. I thought IMDb was a bastion of accuracy!