Jun 3 2011

Robert Rodriguez Continues Spiral into Mediocrity

Ya know, Robert Rodriguez, when you made only one film exclusively for your kids, I was mostly able to ignore it.  Six films, however, is a different story.  I mean, the hell?  How do you keep getting funding for this shit?  Besides, aren’t your kids in college now?  Shouldn’t you be making an all Mexican cast, 3D version of Animal House for them or something?

Anyway, let’s take a look at (gag) Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World, shall we? (throws up)

Talking dogs, Jessica Alba, and the use of fucking “4D”?  What is that exactly, Rodriguez?  Are you going to pay ushers to come into the theater and throw fake dog poo in my face?  While you’re at it, why not pay them to apologize for your carrer post-Desperado?

And while I’m complaining, what’s up with your career, Joel McHale?  Community has proven that you can act, so why are you skipping to the end of Chevy Chase’s career by jumping into family films that require no acting ability?

Ok.  I’m done.  Sorry.

Jul 27 2010

Rodriguez Threatens Us with Predators 2

Did somebody say "Predators 2"? BOO-YAH!

It seems that your pals here at Critical End! reviewed the so-so Predators only a few weeks ago, and the film is still playing in most theaters, but that didn’t stop Robert Rodriguez from talking up Predators 2 at this year’s Comic-Con!

“They really wanted [Predators] to be pretty contained, pretty scaled-back.  They didn’t want to put too many of the ideas into it that we could save for a second one.  So we could see what the appetite was, because the bigger movie would actually be what comes following that.  That kind of sets up a new storyline, new location and world, and then you can really go crazy from there.”

Wait, so now they tell me that Predators was just a set up for more sequels?!  If only I had known, as Predators 2: Predator 4, is bound to be a much better film!  Damn.

Anyway, Rodriguez says that he may direct it, but not until he finishes Sin City 2, which means that we can look forward to a release date in the Summer of when Hell freezes over. 

via IGN

Jul 14 2010

Critical End! (The Podcast) #59: HOT PICS!

Come on… Come on! Listen to it! Listen to it! Come on. Come on! Listen to this podcast! It’s here! Listen to it! Come on! Listen! It’s here! Come on! Do it now! Listen to this podcast!  REVIEWED: Predators.  PLUS: If it’s for a prison movie, it’s not gay.

Download it.


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May 10 2010

Okay, Rodriguez…


Ya got me.  I’m pretty psyched for Machete.

Apr 9 2009

Robert Rodriguez to Make Another Movie for His Kids

Rodriguez with that guy from "Lord of the Rings"  Wait, Frank Miller?  I mean, Frank Miller.  Sorry.

Rodriguez with that guy from "Lord of the Rings" Wait, Frank Miller? I mean, Frank Miller. Sorry.

Remember when Robert Rodriguez once made awesome movies that involved things like gigantic explosions, casual nudity, guitar cases with guns inside, and Quentin Tarantino’s weiner melting off?  Awesome, right?  Okay, now remember when you paid all that money to see three, count ’em, THREE retarded Spy Kids movies?  I mean, they just kept getting worse, didn’t they?

Well, it would seem that three Spy Kids films weren’t enough to satisfy Rodriguez’s need to entertain nobody but his kids.  Case in point: The trailer for his newest film, Shorts.  I’m starting to think that his trademark cowboy hat may be on a little too tight…that or he’s trying to cover male pattern baldness.  You never know.