Jul 15 2011

Spring Break ’97


Man, it’s getting lazy around here! Yes, we’re taking next week off, both from the blog and the podcast. Why, you ask? Because we’re ramping up to our super awesome 100th podcast! So hang tight, and we’ll be back week after next with our thoughts on Harry Potter AND Captain America.

Until then, I bet you saw that trailer Logan posted yesterday and thought “Gee, I wonder what deceased Oscar-winning actor George C. Scott would have thought of this?” Well, wonder no more:

[Badass Digest]

Jul 14 2011

Happy Madison presents…the usual shit

Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

I fully expect this to be the biggest hit of the upcoming holiday season.

Oct 19 2010

Avert Your Eyes!

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the state of comedy:

Yes, you are looking at the first picture of Adam Sandler as “Jill” from the upcoming romantic comedy Jack and Jill that we first told warned you about back here.  Clearly, this film will be the height of comedy…in 1998.

Aug 30 2010

Nursery Crimes II: This Little Piggy Went to Hell


Sandler on the set of his comedic remake of "Taxi Driver". Suri Cruise is playing the Jodie Foster part.

Remember last year when we heard that Adam Sandler would play both Jack and Jill in a romantic comedy of the same name?    That’s still a thing.  I’ve learned from I Watch Stuff that Katie Holmes is being groomed for the role of Jack’s wife, which at least means we can all thank God that Sandler will not be shamelessly wooing himself on film.

But the real tragedy here is that while Jack and Jill is an actual multi-million dollar film, my pitch for the Dane Cook vehicle Old Mother Hubbard (Dane Cook must disguise himself as his own grandmother while still trying to score with the chick from Twilight) is still languishing in development hell!  By which I mean Peter Segal hasn’t called me back yet.  So I’ve decided that every time I read another stupid piece of news about Jack and Jill, I’ll churn out another “Nursery Rhyme Title as Raunchy Romantic Comedy” premise.  Eventually, Hollywood’s sure to snap one up.  Here’s my latest:

Peter Peter
Jonah Hill stars as college senior Peter Peter.  He’s about to graduate and he still hasn’t got up the nerve to ask out the hottest girl on campus (played by whoever almost wins this season of The Bachelor).  His love life isn’t helped by his terrible allergy to pumpkin, which–instead of giving him a rash or killing him–causes him to launch involuntarily into a series of hilarious, and often racist, character voices.  When the hotty dares him to eat 100 pumpkin pies before graduation, with a night of passion as the prize, Peter’s got no choice but to grab the Cool Whip and hope his uncontrollable alter egos don’t get him into too much trouble!

Done.  Money in the bank.

Apr 27 2010


Hey kids, just wanted to remind you that this is an actual film, and it’s coming out in two months.  This should be more than enough time for you to start avoiding the theater.  Hell, I happened to pass by a theater with this poster outside on my way to work this morning and I now plan on taking the longer route just to avoid it.

PS: Is it just me or is Spade showing WAY too much leg in this picture?