Jan 4 2012

Coming Soon: 2011 Year End Podcast


Expect it late January early February! That is all.

Dec 24 2011

Twas the Night Before Xmas



The winter wind is blowing, the air is filled with carols, and I’ve lost feeling in most of my tongue thanks to a nasty burn inflicted by my third peppermint patty. It must be Christmas Eve. And as I type this blog post from the drafty vacated offices of Critical End! (the cleaning staff, new media team, and senior management having all taken holiday leave), I can’t help but think back to the successes we’ve had this year, and the plans we have for 2012.

For me, the standout moment was this year’s Oscar live blog. You guys came out in droves and served up some seriously funny comments. My heart grew three sizes that night. A close second would be finally birthing our 100th episode of the podcast. I still can’t believe Logan and I have managed to finish 100 of anything, and again, we couldn’t have done it without you. It’s been a pretty great year.

And 2012’s gonna keep that tradition going. However, Logan and I are also going to be spending some time on some new non-CE! projects this year. Don’t worry, you’ll hear about those when they’re ready. To accommodate this, we’re slimming down the weekly schedule around here. Starting January, new blog posts will go up Mondays and Wednesdays. That’s fewer posts, but we’re hoping it’ll give us time to do the more in-depth article style stuff we’ve been wanting to focus on.

We’ll still be podcasting, but less regularly and maybe not always about new movies. We’ve considered opening up the format a little and this seemed like a good excuse. Plus we’ve done 100 of these things, so we can do whatever we want now right? There’s no set schedule, but when we’ve got a new episode you’ll see it go up on a Friday. We’ll be back in your ears early next year with our 2011 wrap-up show.

So Merry Xmas Eve! Or whatever you’re into! And we’ll see you in the new year with more fun. Until then, I leave you with the best trailer for anything ever. Stick with it til the end…

Nov 21 2011

Know What I’m Thankful for? Critical End! (and boobs, of course)

Happy Thanksgiving week!  We hope you’re still digesting all two hours of our hundredth episode while simultaneously preparing your stomach for Aunt Margret’s gravy-like substance.  Critical End! will continue to enjoy some time off, but be sure to keep an eye this space for some announcements on what we have in store for the upcoming new year!

Until then, why not go ahead and crack open that case of Stroh’s you’re saving for that post-Thanksgiving football game and check out CritEnd horror/comedy fav ThanksKilling.  Now newly available on DVD!

Happy Thanksgiving, gang!

Oct 18 2011

Where the hell is the 100th episode?


This has nothing to do with anything, except that I found it while searching for "late".

It’s coming, folks! Just running a little late. But rest assured, we are not dead. Except Logan. He died.

Jul 15 2011

Spring Break ’97


Man, it’s getting lazy around here! Yes, we’re taking next week off, both from the blog and the podcast. Why, you ask? Because we’re ramping up to our super awesome 100th podcast! So hang tight, and we’ll be back week after next with our thoughts on Harry Potter AND Captain America.

Until then, I bet you saw that trailer Logan posted yesterday and thought “Gee, I wonder what deceased Oscar-winning actor George C. Scott would have thought of this?” Well, wonder no more:

[Badass Digest]

Jun 7 2011

Critical End! Needs Your Help!


Hello, friend! This is a message from Logan and Ryan, or as some of you may know them, Ryan and Logan. They produce a weekly podcast through www.criticalend.com. Remember?

“Wait, what?”
If you don’t know, Critical End! is a show where we review movies and occasionally television shows. We’ve been doing it for awhile now and within the next month or so we’ll be releasing our 100th episode. We know. It’s a pretty big deal.  But we need your help to make it happen!

“What kind of help?” you ask incredulously…
It’s easy. For our 100th show we’re going to change it up a bit and review things that are NOT movies or TV shows, and we’d love it if all the things we review were suggested by you. Got a book you think we’d like? We’ll review it.  Want our take on your baby? She’s ugly; we’ll do 10 minutes on that at least. Wondering what we think of the abstract concept of “ennui”?  We’ll teach Logan to pronounce it and get back to you. As long as your suggestion is not a movie or TV show, we’ll add it to the pile and do our level best to cover it on the 100th episode.

“I don’t have any good suggestions, really…”
We will also accept terrible suggestions.

“Sounds great! Where do I sign?”
Just comment on this post with your suggestion(s), or use our contact form, or get in touch with Logan or Ryan in whatever other way you choose. Just keep in mind that if your suggestion is something that would take awhile to review or involve us going somewhere or making any kind of advance arrangements, you’ll have to let us know soon so we’ll have some lead time.

Thanks for your help! And thanks for listening to Critical End!  (If you don’t listen to Critical End! please disregard this thanks.)

May 24 2011

This is where I’m supposed to type the subject of this post

Hello from Sunday night!  That’s actually when I’m typing this.  I’m going on vacation this week and because I’m can’t predict the future of the entertainment biz and still have to post something today, I decided to slap this together really fast.  It’s not like anybody is going to read it anyway, right?  I mean, after our first year or so most of you went on permanent vacation from this site.  You know who you are.  It seems like the only hits we get any more are from people searching for “hairy old men” and “steve guttenberg in dress”.  Shame on all of you.

Here’s a random clip of Chevy Chase that you’ve never seen before.  Why?  Because you won’t watch it anyway and I’m on vacation.  So fuck off.

Your friend in Christ,

May 17 2011

Are You Having a Celebrity Meltdown?


Hey, kids.  This is a shameless plug, but it’s for something you’ll like so maybe you’ll indulge me.  Check out this interactive online thingamadoodle I made at my dayjob with some very funny coworkers of mine. I guarantee you’ll laugh at least once.*




*Not a guarantee.

Apr 27 2011

Late podcast even later


This has nothing to do with anything, except that I found it while searching for "late".

Sorry, folks. Our already late review of The King’s Speech will be a little bit later. But look for it tomorrow!


Jan 17 2011

Critical End’s on Walkabout


Hey kids. We’re taking the week off to prepare for and produce our big ol’ 2010 wrap-up podcast and yearly rating posts. We’ll be back soon, but until then, why not reminisce with our Best of 2009 podcast.

Dec 21 2010

It’s Christmas Time!

It’s nearly Christmas here at the Critical End! HQ.  I’m hanging decorations in my best Clark Griswold style, while Ryan is having his usual charitable event, “Make Out with Ryan for 5 Bucks”.*

Click to download just in time for Christmas!

Anyway, because of the upcoming holiday, we wanted to let you know that this will be something of a short week for the site.  No podcast this week, however, we will post one more story tomorrow, most likely something about how rad Chevy Chase is and how lame Judd Apatow is.  After that, you’re on your own, Timmy.

We’ll return to the usual schedule the week after Christmas, with our TRON podcast.  See you all back here then! 

*Reserve your place now!  Last year Ryan raised over $5.00 for “Ryan’s Angels”, a charity that helps girls ages 18 to 25 win a dream date with Ryan.

Oct 13 2010

Pardon our 500 Internal Server Errors!


Some tech weirdness going on today.  I think we’re stable for now, but you may see a bug or two over the next couple days until we can sort everything out.  Thanks for your patience, and enjoy this profoundly disturbing animated gif!

Aug 2 2010

Critical-End.com Announces Acquisition of CriticalEnd.com; Now 80% Easier to Tell Your Friends


That’s right, kids.  After more than a year of waiting, scheming, and refusing to pay more than a couple bucks, we’ve finally obtained the criticalend.com domain.  No more will you have to say “Critical-DASH-End-Dot-Com” when you shout our URL to passersby.  Sadly, this will probably result in a decrease in accidental visits to CriticalDachshund.com.

Over the next few weeks, we’ll be working to update all of our internal links with the dash-less address, though the hyphenated versions will continue to work for the time being.  And don’t worry about the podcast feed, it won’t be affected.

To celebrate, I wanted to embed whatever came up first on a YouTube search for “new url”, which just so happens to be an awesome video of this retro rock-a-billy band called The Baseballs.  For some reason, they’ve disabled embedding, but the video’s so damn awesome I’m linking them anyway.

May 24 2010

Stupid Nerd Ruined Once Again by Ryan’s Voice


Stupid NerdIf you’ve already listened to me and Logan ramble on about the recent Nightmare on Elm Street remake, and you’re still hungry for more, Arnie Niekamp’s Stupid Nerd podcast rides to the rescue once again.

On the newest episode, I chat about the whole Nightmare series with Arnie and Adal Rifai (who luckily remembered a lot more about the goofy, convoluted details than I did.)

Check it (and all the other great episodes) out on iTunes or listen right here by clicking play below.

[gplayer href=”http://cdn2.libsyn.com/mysterycove/Stupid_Nerd_28_-_Elm_Street.mp3″][/gplayer]

Apr 19 2010

50th Episode Deleted Scenes


Hope you guys liked our 50th episode.  If over an hour of Critical End! wasn’t enough for you, here’s a little bonus material.  Two montages we ended up cutting from the show.

[gplayer href=”http://www.archive.org/download/CriticalEndChevyChaseMontage/montage_CHEVY.mp3″]Chevy Chase Montage[/gplayer]

[gplayer href=”http://www.archive.org/download/CriticalEndInsultMontage/montage_SHUTUP.mp3″]Insult Montage[/gplayer]