Review: “Hellcats” Series Premiere

I love my girlfriend.  Who else would be willing to both make out with me and watch Cabin Boy in the same afternoon?  Granted, I think she laughs more at the thought of making out with me than she does at Cabin Boy, but I appreciate that she’s still willing to watch all of my favorite movies and shows.

Of course, I’d be a terrible boyfriend if I didn’t return the favor, which is why I just smiled when she asked if I wanted to watch the series premiere of the CW’s Hellcats with her.
“Couldn’t we just make out instead?” I asked.
“Don’t make me laugh, Logan.  Now put your pants back on.  The show’s starting.”
“Okay,” I sighed.  “But the pants are staying off, thank you very much.”

Six people with a combined total of three complete shirts.

Taking place in a post-apocalyptic future where the male population is hunted to extinction, Hellcats tells the story of- no, wait.  That’s not right.  Hellcats is about college cheerleading.  Aly Michalka (who my girlfriend tells me is from some Disney Channel show) and Ashley Tisdale (who I recognize as the girl from Disney’s High School Musical series, but with a different nose) star as two polar opposite cheerleaders who have to team up if they want to beat a rival college and save their college cheerleading program.  Aly’s Marti is a tomboy (hence the name “Marti”) who likes to do things her way, while Ashley’s Savannah is a stuck-up brat (hence the name “Savannah”) who likes to keep it by the books.  Can’t we all just get along?

HELLCATS! (in color)

Yes, it’s all very Bring It On, but for what it’s worth, the show knows that.  There’s even a rather clever training montage where Marti buys a copy of Bring It On and learns to cheer from watching it.  Sure, she is a bit too quick to fall for all of this cheerleading stuff (the episode opens with her verbally bashing the cheerleading squad and ends with her joining it), but I’m glad they didn’t waste my time over a series of episodes when we all knew the direction it was headed.

Meanwhile, Ashley Tisdale has the annoying, perky girl routine down pat.  Say what you want about her, but she knows how to play just the right amount of mean so that you still like her in a certain way.  Obviously, the fact that both of these gals are Disney kids helps, as they already know how to shake their combined bootys (booti?) when the show calls for it, which it does quite a bit.  I counted a total of three montages in 45 minutes, which may have been slightly unnecessary, but this is a show about cheerleaders after all.

In the end, it’s hard to come down on Hellcats.  Granted, I’m not the target audience for the show (it also doesn’t help that I’m hetrosexual), but it does just enough to make you want to keep watching, which is all I can ask from a CW show.  It hits it’s marks and even manages to land a few bases,  basket tosses, and cradle catches as well. 

That’s…um…cheerleading terminology, folks.

Not gay.

Hellcats Pilot Episode 
Rating: ★★★★★★☆☆☆☆ 6 out of 10

One Response to “Review: “Hellcats” Series Premiere”

  • Ashley Says:

    More importantly! The guy from Harper’s Island is in this, and I’m really hoping he doesn’t get betrayed and killed by his best friend this time because I liked him!