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AS UNSIGNED) ip1 UNION SELECT '195.191.219.131' ip,CAST(0x0 AS UNSIGNED) ip0, CAST(0xffffc3bfdb83 AS UNSIGNED) ip1 UNION SELECT '85.208.96.209' ip,CAST(0x0 AS UNSIGNED) ip0, CAST(0xffff55d060d1 AS UNSIGNED) ip1 UNION SELECT '17.241.227.78' ip,CAST(0x0 AS UNSIGNED) ip0, CAST(0xffff11f1e34e AS UNSIGNED) ip1 UNION SELECT '185.191.171.16' ip,CAST(0x0 AS UNSIGNED) ip0, CAST(0xffffb9bfab10 AS UNSIGNED) ip1 UNION SELECT '57.141.2.23' ip,CAST(0x0 AS UNSIGNED) ip0, CAST(0xffff398d0217 AS UNSIGNED) ip1 UNION SELECT '17.241.227.173' ip,CAST(0x0 AS UNSIGNED) ip0, CAST(0xffff11f1e3ad AS UNSIGNED) ip1 UNION SELECT '185.191.171.1' ip,CAST(0x0 AS UNSIGNED) ip0, CAST(0xffffb9bfab01 AS UNSIGNED) ip1 UNION SELECT '95.215.145.128' ip,CAST(0x0 AS UNSIGNED) ip0, CAST(0xffff5fd79180 AS UNSIGNED) ip1 UNION SELECT '85.208.96.193' ip,CAST(0x0 AS UNSIGNED) ip0, CAST(0xffff55d060c1 AS UNSIGNED) ip1 UNION SELECT '157.55.39.201' ip,CAST(0x0 AS UNSIGNED) ip0, CAST(0xffff9d3727c9 AS UNSIGNED) ip1 UNION SELECT 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Uh oh. He's got that look in his eyes that can only mean one thing: MURDER (or perhaps "taco night").
You know, there’s a reason I stopped inviting Kiefer Sutherland to my pool parties. Sure, he always brought some killer homemade guacamole and a great collection of Devo records, but he was always too quick to headbutt all of my guests.
And now it seems that the ol’ Kiefernator is at it again: New York City police are currently investigating an incident where, and I swear I’m not making this up, Sutherland apparently headbutted fashion designer Jack McCollough at an upscale party. The reason? McCollough bumped into Brooke Shields and refused to apologize. A spokesperson for Shields had the following to say about the incident:
“Nothing happened to her. Jack did nothing inappropriate. It’s not clear what caused Keifer to do what he did.”
Oh, I’ll tell you what caused him to do what he did: HE’S KIEFER SUTHERLAND. This is what he does, people! Haven’t the New York City police ever seen a Kiefer film, or as I like to call them, a Kiefer Klassic? Listen folks, I know that if I ever meet Sutherland I’m not going to ask him to sign my black and white 8×10 of him in Young Guns II, I’m going to ask him to freakin’ headbutt it…with his head.
This entry was posted on Wednesday, May 6th, 2009 at 7:15 amand is filed under . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.
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2 Responses to “Kiefer Sutherland One Headbutt Away From a Free Small Soda”
May 6th, 2009 at 9:13 am
Is it possible that fashion designer Jack McCollough questioned his choice of tuxedo jacket, vest, and wrangler jeans?
May 6th, 2009 at 10:26 am
Keifer seems like a really cool guy, all violence aside.
And Ryan, in regards to your “One Eyed Monster” post, Chance and I want to see it.