Dec 6 2010

The Back to the Future Game has a Trailer


Finally, we’ve got our first real taste of Telltale’s new Back to the Future adventure game and it’s glorious. AJ LoCascio sounds amazing as Marty. Chris Lloyd is as Doc-like as ever. The look, the music, and the DeLorean are all pitch perfect. As far as I know, there’s no solid release date, but the first episode is coming out sometime this month.

The biggest remaining question mark involves the villainous Tannen family line. According to the end of the trailer, the second episode is called “Get Tannen!” That indicates that Biff Tannen or one of his ancestors will appear. But Tom Wilson, who played Biff in the films, has told that he hasn’t been approached for voice work. Seems odd since Telltale is pushing hard for authenticity and Wilson’s an active (and probably inexpensive) actor. Maybe the two parties have already struck a deal and are just waiting for the right time to make the big announcement. Either way, we’ll find out soon.

[Trailer via Kotaku]

Oct 26 2010

Cars 2: Audience 0

The teaser trailer for the upcoming sequel that nobody asked for Cars 2, is officially the first work from Pixar that has depressed me to no end.  Please announce in a few weeks that this was actually produced by Dreamworks:

What the hell is even going on here?!  Is this supposed to be some sort of Mission: Impossible spoof?  If so, you’re like a decade late on that, Pixar.  Oh, and I consider myself something of a fan of comedy, but can somebody PLEASE tell me what the joke is supposed to be?  Did I miss something (besides Cars 1 of course)?

Cars 2 will attack your good sense and wallet sometime next summer.  I’m sure it’ll be in 3D too, but c’mon, were you really planning on sending your kids to college?  I think not.

Sep 14 2010

William Castle Presents…Saw 3D?

One of my favorite bad trailers of all time is My Bloody Valentine 3D.  The trailer does a fine job of advertising for the film; it’s not until the end of it when things go horribly awry.  You see, according to the trailer fire is going to fly out of the screen.  Observe this still:

“But wait, Logan, ya lovable trickster,” you say.  “That’s just advertising the fact that the film is 3D!”  Then I ask you: Why are the people looking up?  I’m no expert, but I don’t quite think 3D works that way, Lionsgate.

But it seems that Lionsgate never got my memo, as now they’ve gone and done it again with the new Saw 3D trailer.  No fire this time.  This time?  Oh, this time one of the characters is actually going to come out of the screen, reach into your theater, and pull you into the movie.  I’m not making this up.  Let’s watch:

People, this is blatant false advertising.  In fact, if I go to see Saw 3D and the theater has NOT equipped my seat with a spiky torture device thingy that comes over my head and locks me in place…oh, I’m going to be mad.

Aug 20 2010

Craven takes a little more of my soul


At a certain point, I begin to wonder if being a guy who has hated almost everything Wes Craven does but still continues to follow his work for some reason, is any different from being his biggest fan.  Maybe I’m just kidding myself?  Or is that killing myself!

Anyway, he’s actually directing again!  Check out the trailer for My Soul to Take. The original title was 25/8, but presumably Craven couldn’t get funding for that many eighths. It’s pretty much your standard slasher, with the twist that one of the kids may be the reincarnated spirit of the murderer.  Kind of a neat idea.  I wonder how he’ll screw it up.

[via I Watch Stuff]

Jul 30 2010

If “Piranha 3D” Isn’t Enough for ya…

…there’s always the upcoming Saw 3D

…which you plan to avoid completely unless your name is Logan or Ryan.

Jul 29 2010

“Piranha 3D” Trailer Will Make You Fall in Love With the 3D Fad All Over Again

Seriously, kids, THIS is the only reason that the money-grabbing Hollywood gimmick that is 3D should stick around a bit longer:

Did you see that?!  The piranha hissed at that girl…underwater!  And Eli Roth and Christopher Lloyd were both there!  IN 3D!  I smell Oscars!

Jun 28 2010

Expecto Pa-trailer


UPDATE: Scroll down for the new teaser!

The new Harry Potter teaser is set to debut online later tonight.  As a huge nerd who just got through listening to all the British versions of the audio books for “authenticity”, you can bet I’m interested to see it.  Meanwhile, /Film’s got some leaked images of some of the teaser’s juiciest scenes…

Here’s the scene where Voldemort teaches Harry to pronounce Italian words so he can impress the sultry farmer’s daughter he meets on their impromptu trip to Siena.

Here’s the POV shot of Harry standing outside the farmer’s daughter’s door after having comically tripped down a hill and into a pile of manure on his way there.  If I remember the book correctly, the shot after this will reveal that he is pantsless.

And here’s a scene from the closely-guarded epilogue, in which Hermione agrees to a romantic Sleepless in Seattle style meeting with an estranged Ron, only to find that he’s a drunken insomniac lumberjack now.
(SPOILER: She settles.)

Anywho, I’ll post the trailer here when it shows up so we can see these thrilling moments in action!

UPDATE: Here ’tis!

May 13 2010

(Insert Immature “Hole 3D” Joke Here)

It’s been a while since Joe Dante had a hit theatrical release, which is somewhat sad as he shaped a lot of childhood’s in the 80’s and early 90’s with films like Gremlins, Explorers, Innerspace, and yes, even Matinee (Hey, I loved it as a kid).  He tried to bring the same child-like touch to films like Small Solders (loved it) and Looney Tunes: Back in Action (seriously underrated), but has failed to really connect with an audience of either kids or adults for some time now.

Well, it looks like he’s going to take one more shot at it, this time with the writer of Vacancy behind him.  The Hole, despite it’s unfortunate name, looks to be spooky childhood fun along the lines of Dante’s “It’s a Good Life” segment from Twilight Zone: The Movie.  And it’s Dante’s first 3D film to boot!

No word yet on an actual theatrical release, which is sad as we may never see this is in actual 3D.  Until then, I guess we’ll have to look forward to the upcoming 3D remake of Joe’s 1978 cheese classic Piranha in August.

May 10 2010

Okay, Rodriguez…


Ya got me.  I’m pretty psyched for Machete.

Apr 12 2010

There’s always someone in there. It costs me a fortune in closet doors.


I’m going to be honest.  I miss Schwarzenegger.  Sure, he’s terrible at acting as we traditionally define it.  But he’s an expert at being Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Apr 6 2010

Fan Appreciation Day!

Here at Critical End! we recognize the importance of the fans.  Hell, we’re fans ourselves!  Who else but Ryan would own a piece of the MST3K film set (I’ve seen it.)?  And who else but myself would own an album of songs recorded by Chevy Chase?  And who else but this guy would build a Bill Paxton pinball machine?  Whoa, wait…what?

Oh, crazy Bill Paxton pinball fan…will you ever learn?  Perhaps not, but no matter how crazy you may think he is, consider your average TRON fan.  Sure, we may all recall that nutty TRON guy from a few years back, but despite popular notion, not all TRON fans are complete losers with no girlfriends lame.  Take for instance the guy who made this amazing modern trailer to the original film.

So, today your pals here at Critical End! would like to salute you, fans!  Sure, some of you may live in your parents basement and smell slightly like old Cheetos, but to us…you’re family.*

*Please stop calling us, you smelly dorks.

Mar 29 2010

Marmaduke Trailer


Honestly, I’m beginning to think the joke’s on me. There’s no way that anyone could think this shit looks watchable in the first place, but then they twist the knife even more with a terrifying CG dog dance, and the most overused licensed music in trailer history.

I feel like I’m going to show up at the Marmaduke premiere to discover that it’s actually a big, twisted surprise party for me like at the end of The Game.  “You bought the whole Marmaduke thing?!  We thought for sure you’d figure it out!”  And then I commit suicide.  It’s not exactly like The Game.

Mar 26 2010

“Scott Pilgrim vs. The World” Teaser

It’s been a VERY long time since Michael Cera has done anything of interest.  However, I’m working under the impression that with Edgar Wright directing, even an Adam Sandler film could possibly be awesome.  Long story short: It looks like Wright finally found a great use for Cera’s one note performances, and I can’t wait.

Mar 18 2010

“Predators” Trailer to Self-Destruct Your Face

As promised:

Mar 16 2010

Nerd Alert!

With the release of both Tron Legacy and Predators, 2010 is really shaping up to be a nerd’s delight. If you caught the first Legacy trailer before Alice and Wonderland, you already know how many socks it’s mostly likely going to rock off of various nerd feet.  However, little is know about Predators, besides the cast.

Last week at SXSW, producer Robert Rodriguez showed some select footage which has now been posted on the official site. I must say that I’m now even more excited about this. Rodriguez has put together a great cast and it’s clear he’s going to respect the past films as well.

Tron Legacy opens in December while we only have to wait until July for Predators.  Yay!