Mar 11 2011

New Smurf Trailer Really Smurfs the Smurfy Smur-Oh Jesus Fucking Christ Forget It


Time to play my favorite cartoon-turned-live-action-movie game: Gag Ratio! It’s simple and you can play along at home. Step one, watch the new trailer for The Smurfs. Let’s do that now!

Did you do it? Great. Now mute the audio so you don’t have to listen to that godawful commercial. And by the way, Yahoo! and its advertisers: You think you’re so cool with your non-skippable advertising embedded into my site? Well, your product is terrible and nobody loves you. There, I’ve cleverly countered your marketing with counter-marketing. Game. Set. Ryan.

What were we doing? Oh right. Now that you’ve seen the trailer, you count up all the jokes and put them into three piles. Pile 1 is for slapstick jokes where people fall down or get hurt. Pile 2 is for dick and fart jokes, anything scatological or sexual. Pile 3 is any other joke. Aaaaaannnnd GO!

How’d you do? Here’s what I came up with:


Oh, did I forget to mention the pile for derivative, unfunny bullshit? Well, on my third viewing of the trailer, I decided there needed to be a fourth pile. Anyway, this summer don’t forget to Smurf the Smurfin’ Smurf! RADICAL!