I already wasted time and web space making fun of the (sigh) Planet of the Apes prequel back in May, so let’s just get to the goods, shall we? This is either the first photo from the set of Rise of the Apes, or some strange guy in a bodysuit following James Franco and his girlfriend home.
Decide for yourself in our comment section below.
via CHUD
Adam Green’s Hatchet was no work of art, but it completely delivered the “Old School American Horror” that the posters promised. I left the theater thinking Green could be the next Eli Roth, and started wishing for a whole slew of quickly made Hatchet sequels, a la the Friday the 13th films in the ’80’s.
Three years and a few decent films later, Green is finally granting my wish. And while the teaser trailer for Hatchet II spends most of it’s time reviewing the first film, I have to admit that I’m still very excited. Let’s hope that this gets a wide enough release so I can catch it in theaters.
Are you aware that we live in a world where a film like Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World, arguably one of the funniest and most creative films of the year, bombs at the box office, while Vampires Suck opens as a certified hit? What’s wrong with people?
I also find this surprising as I was under the impression that the Twilight series was already funny enough. I mean, why bother with a spoof when the material being spoofed is funnier? Case in point: Breaking Dawn. Sure, it’s not even out yet, but if it ends up anything at all like the book, we’re looking at what might possibly be THE BEST WORST FILM EVER. Ryan and I discussed it back in this podcast, but here’s the quick version in case you missed it:
Just add Jason Lee and call it a day. Hollywood can’t stop turning old cartoons and comics into flesh-and-blood talkin’ pictures.
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…there’s always the upcoming Saw 3D…
…which you plan to avoid completely unless your name is Logan or Ryan.
Did somebody say "Predators 2"? BOO-YAH!
It seems that your pals here at Critical End! reviewed the so-so Predators only a few weeks ago, and the film is still playing in most theaters, but that didn’t stop Robert Rodriguez from talking up Predators 2 at this year’s Comic-Con!
“They really wanted [Predators] to be pretty contained, pretty scaled-back. They didn’t want to put too many of the ideas into it that we could save for a second one. So we could see what the appetite was, because the bigger movie would actually be what comes following that. That kind of sets up a new storyline, new location and world, and then you can really go crazy from there.”
Wait, so now they tell me that Predators was just a set up for more sequels?! If only I had known, as Predators 2: Predator 4, is bound to be a much better film! Damn.
Anyway, Rodriguez says that he may direct it, but not until he finishes Sin City 2, which means that we can look forward to a release date in the Summer of when Hell freezes over.
via IGN
The first time I saw this new teaser poster for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows I thought that it was amazingly hardcore…then confusion begin to set in. Are they now planning on calling it HP7, despite the fact that the poster claims there’s a part 1 and 2? Is that part 1 and 2 of 7 parts? And if “it all ends here”, is that to say that it’s ending in both parts? Oh yeah, and what the hell is a 2D theater? Do they mean a “normal theater”?
I guess I won’t know the answer to any of these questions until I shell out about 30 bucks to see both movies in 3D. Curse you, Warner Brothers!
Still: cool poster.
He's like the high version of Peter Jackson
I’m under the impression that Judd Apatow is running some sort of Hollywood comedy mafia. To get any script that is funny made in Hollywood it has to first go through Judd’s office, at which point he adds Seth Rogan, Jonah Hill, some random blond, makes everybody get high in at least two scenes, then slaps on an Executive Producer credit for himself. Seriously, kids. Apatow accounts for almost half of the comedies that make it to theaters these days.
Which means that it was only a matter of time before he ruined something dear to me. Sure, we already know that he’s handling Ghostbusters 3: Starring Bill Murray, but why the flippin’ fuck is he now taking Pee-wee from me too?
Yes, according to Pee-wee’s Twitter account and E! online, Judd is going to produce the new Pee-wee film. Granted, I’m going to see the movie. Heck, I may even see it two or three times. But that’s not the point. The point is Apatow needs to back off ’80’s franchises that were fine to begin with.
I would say more, but I’m afraid Apatow’s comedy mafia might threaten to make Funny People 2: Starring Bill Murray as Seth Rogan.
(Thanks to CE! reader Olivia for the tip)
UPDATE: Scroll down for the new teaser!
The new Harry Potter teaser is set to debut online later tonight. As a huge nerd who just got through listening to all the British versions of the audio books for “authenticity”, you can bet I’m interested to see it. Meanwhile, /Film’s got some leaked images of some of the teaser’s juiciest scenes…
Here’s the scene where Voldemort teaches Harry to pronounce Italian words so he can impress the sultry farmer’s daughter he meets on their impromptu trip to Siena.
Here’s the POV shot of Harry standing outside the farmer’s daughter’s door after having comically tripped down a hill and into a pile of manure on his way there. If I remember the book correctly, the shot after this will reveal that he is pantsless.
And here’s a scene from the closely-guarded epilogue, in which Hermione agrees to a romantic Sleepless in Seattle style meeting with an estranged Ron, only to find that he’s a drunken insomniac lumberjack now.
(SPOILER: She settles.)
Anywho, I’ll post the trailer here when it shows up so we can see these thrilling moments in action!
UPDATE: Here ’tis!
Please don’t mention Emily in this one. My fragile heart can’t take it. REVIEWED: Toy Story 3. PLUS: Trailers and contest winners and gay jokes and things.
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When he’s not busy reinventing 3D technology, fixing oil spills, and rewriting the script to Ferngully, it seems that James Cameron is finding new ways to revive the endless Final Destination series. Case in point: Cameron has recommended his second unit director (who has been with him since The Abyss) to New Line Cinema as the director of the upcoming Final Destination 5.
Gee. Thanks, James.
While this news is a bit strange, I find it even weirder that they’re making a Final Destination 5. I can only assume that it’s going to be a retelling of Disney’s Pocahontas, with a strong green message at it’s roots. Zing!
via CHUD
"Oh boy! An email from Logan! Let me just read this and- WHHAAA?!"
Are you reading this, Mr. Romero? Because you should be.
For what it’s worth, your pals here at Critical End! were calling you a hack way back when it was considered blasphemy to do so. However, with the release of Land of the Dead, then Diary of the Dead, it seems that most horror fans have come around to our way of thinking.
Yet you refuse to stop.
Two weeks ago saw the release of Survival of the Dead. Survival of the freakin’ dead. Why? Because if I’m to believe what you and others claim, you pretty much invented the modern zombie film. That doesn’t mean you were ever the best at it. Hell, did you see the first iPod? That thing was bulky, only came in white, and didn’t even have a color screen! Whatever the case may be, you’re really giving M. Night Shyamalan and Kevin Smith a run for the “Hack of the Decade” award.
Which brings me back to where I started: Are you reading this, Mr. Romero? If so, wipe the tears off of those big windshields that you call glasses and listen up. If you want to get me and lots of other horror loving fans back into those theater seats, all you have do is simply make this movie:
…or something with Chevy Chase in it. That would be good too.
If you’ve already listened to me and Logan ramble on about the recent Nightmare on Elm Street remake, and you’re still hungry for more, Arnie Niekamp’s Stupid Nerd podcast rides to the rescue once again.
On the newest episode, I chat about the whole Nightmare series with Arnie and Adal Rifai (who luckily remembered a lot more about the goofy, convoluted details than I did.)
Check it (and all the other great episodes) out on iTunes or listen right here by clicking play below.
[gplayer href=”http://cdn2.libsyn.com/mysterycove/Stupid_Nerd_28_-_Elm_Street.mp3″][/gplayer]
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