Critical End! (The Podcast)

Critical End! (The Podcast) #101: The Best and Worst of 2011

Ryan — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 12:00:49 +0000

We return for our first episode of the year and our fourth annual best/worst show. REVIEWED: The highlights and lowlights of 2011. PLUS: Vampire squabbling.

Critical End! (The Podcast) #100: The One Hundredth Episode

Ryan — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 12:00:16 +0000

Description. REVIEWED: All of your requests! PLUS: It’s long.

Critical End! (The Podcast) #99: The Mathmatics

Ryan — Wed, 10 Aug 2011 12:00:58 +0000

REVIEWED: Cowboys & Aliens. You know what this was movie was missing? SPACE TUCO.

Critical End! (The Podcast) #98: Eldorado Chase

Ryan — Wed, 03 Aug 2011 12:00:50 +0000

REVIEWED: Captain America: The First Avenger. This episode ain’t kissing ya. PLUS: We talk about some POSITIVE theater experiences!

Critical End! (The Podcast) #97: Pad me anytime

Ryan — Fri, 29 Jul 2011 12:12:01 +0000

REVIEWED: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2. Well, I guess we’re all going to get into Game of Thrones now? PLUS: There’s still time to contribute to our 100th episode.

Critical End! (The Podcast) #96: Schlitz Daiquiri

Ryan — Wed, 13 Jul 2011 12:00:38 +0000

REVIEWED: Larry Crowne. Why won’t a sassy black girl decorate my apartment? PLUS: Drunk Harry Potter and original Schlitz!

Critical End! (The Podcast) #95: Synchronize Our Watch

Ryan — Wed, 15 Jun 2011 12:00:12 +0000

REVIEWED: Super 8. Insert joke about smoke monster here. PLUS: Please turn down your lung machine when the previews end.

Critical End! (The Podcast) #94: Ted Vaniman

Ryan — Wed, 08 Jun 2011 12:05:51 +0000

REVIEWED: X-Men: First Class. Maybe pause your aging process at She’s Having a Baby Kevin Bacon. PLUS: We’re planning the 100th episode and we need your help!

Critical End! (The Podcast) #93: In-Depp

Ryan — Fri, 27 May 2011 12:39:48 +0000

REVIEWED: Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides. Sorry, but after nine and a half hours of pirate movies, I have no witty comment for this description.

Critical End! (The Podcast) #92: Avengers in Babysitting

Ryan — Wed, 11 May 2011 11:42:04 +0000

REVIEWED: Thor. What’s YOUR definition of goofy? PLUS: ReBoot, Power Rangers continuity, and the rules for multi-part films.

Critical Hit! | Bonus Blather

Ryan — Wed, 04 May 2011 22:03:41 +0000

No proper show this week, but here’s a quick fix of us blathering on about the Exorcist films, Thor, and Paul Rudd.

Critical End! (The Podcast) #91: Tweetered Off

Ryan — Thu, 28 Apr 2011 12:16:56 +0000

REVIEWED: The King’s Speech. It’s still relevant, okay. PLUS: Bill & Ted & Twitter & Such.

Critical End! (The Podcast) #90: The voice of a sexy generation

Ryan — Wed, 20 Apr 2011 18:26:16 +0000

REVIEWED: Scream 4. That’s…kind of it. We actually stay on topic the whole show!

Critical End! (The Podcast) #89: Matthew Lillard’s a Goddamn Maniac

Ryan — Mon, 18 Apr 2011 14:43:53 +0000

REVIEWED: Scream 1, Scream 2, Scream 3. What’s our favorite scary movie? Not Scary Movie, that’s for damned sure. PLUS: Wild speculation on Scream 4.

Critical End! (The Podcast) #88: La Coke-aracha!

Ryan — Wed, 06 Apr 2011 12:00:48 +0000

REVIEWED: Source Code. This episode missed the train. But the next one’s in eight minutes. PLUS: BevCast 2.0.

Critical End! (The Podcast) #87: The Danny DeVito of your choice

Ryan — Wed, 23 Mar 2011 20:40:07 +0000

This episode is 87 steps ahead of you…if you haven’t listened to the first 86 episodes. REVIEWED: Limitless. PLUS: More fun with hypothetical scenarios!

Critical End! (The Podcast) #86: It’s spelled with a U.

Ryan — Fri, 18 Mar 2011 22:16:14 +0000

This episode is gonna keep its sheep suit on / Until it’s sure that you’ve been shown / That it can be trusted walking with you alone. / Owoooooooo! REVIEWED: Red Riding Hood. PLUS: Vagina blood.

Critical End! (The Podcast) #85: Bicycle

Ryan — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 12:00:32 +0000

After the last episode, you were never supposed to listen to this podcast again. Your plan has changed. REVIEWED: The Adjustment Bureau. PLUS: We play a game and fix the Oscars.

Critical End! (The Podcast) #84: Triple P

Ryan — Wed, 02 Mar 2011 12:00:09 +0000

This week, we saw the one where Nicolas Cage escapes from hell wearing a leather jacket and kills a bunch of dudes. No, the OTHER one. REVIEWED: Drive Angry 3D. PLUS: Post-Oscar talk.

Critical End! (The Podcast) #83: “Put gas in my wiener!” says Liam Neeson

Ryan — Wed, 23 Feb 2011 12:00:48 +0000

If Betty Draper forgets about you, just go with it. REVIEWED: Unknown. PLUS: We get a studio audience!

Critical End! (The Podcast) #82: White Grape and Cherry

Ryan — Wed, 16 Feb 2011 12:05:24 +0000

This episode is better off dead. REVIEWED: The Breakfast Club, Pretty in Pink, Say Anything… PLUS: Our contest winner is finally rewarded!

Critical End! (The Podcast) #81: The happy family

Ryan — Fri, 11 Feb 2011 12:05:46 +0000

I call top bunk! REVIEWED: The Roommate. PLUS: Ghosts of roommates past.

Critical End! (The Podcast) #80: I wish Glen came to town more often

Ryan — Wed, 09 Feb 2011 12:12:10 +0000

This episode is waiting for you at the bottom of a swimming pool. REVIEWED: The Rite, The Mechanic.. PLUS: *grumble grumble*

Critical End! (The Podcast) #79: The Best and Worst of 2010

Ryan — Mon, 24 Jan 2011 12:00:37 +0000

It’s our third annual best/worst show. Place your bets! REVIEWED: The highlights and lowlights of 2010. PLUS: Our first same-room recording since the beginning.

Critical End! (The Podcast) #78: H.J. Ackerman

Ryan — Wed, 12 Jan 2011 12:04:06 +0000

That was this episode seducing you. It needs to be the other way around. REVIEWED: Black Swan. PLUS: Minesweeper.

Critical End! (The Podcast) #77: A good spankin’

Ryan — Wed, 05 Jan 2011 12:02:26 +0000

This episode can’t do nothing for ya, boy. REVIEWED: True Grit (1969), True Grit (2010). PLUS: The Oscar talk begins.

Critical End! (The Podcast) #76: The Worst Zookeeper Ever

Ryan — Wed, 29 Dec 2010 12:09:40 +0000

Bring in the logic probe! REVIEWED: Tron, Tron: Legacy.

Critical End! (The Podcast) #75: Bred for sexiness

Ryan — Wed, 15 Dec 2010 12:26:12 +0000

Who me? No, no, I don’t live here. I’m just Johnny Depp. No problem, I get that a lot. REVIEWED: The Tourist. PLUS: Filler!

Critical End! (The Podcast) #74: Gargamel’s Travel Pants

Ryan — Wed, 08 Dec 2010 12:02:45 +0000

The one where we DON’T complain about the 3D. REVIEWED: Tangled. PLUS: The only podcast with a “C Moon” joke.

Critical End! (The Podcast) #73: Dangerous

Ryan — Wed, 01 Dec 2010 12:00:49 +0000

What a beautiful place…to be with friends. REVIEWED: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1. PLUS: Logan’s dangerous obsession with National Lampoon Magazine.

Critical End! (The Podcast) #72: Guilty Pleasures

Ryan — Wed, 17 Nov 2010 12:05:39 +0000

How’s the robot sequence coming? Anyone? REVIEWED: Skyline. PLUS: Mashed potatoes and our mysterious rating system.

Critical End! (The Podcast) #71: Screwvernors

Ryan — Mon, 08 Nov 2010 20:19:45 +0000

The final ingredient to this podcast…is YOU! …And cumen. REVIEWED: Saw 3D. PLUS: BevCast. ALSO: If you missed our Critical Hit of the first six Saw movies, check it out here.

Critical End! (The Podcast) #70: I wish there were more potatoes here

Ryan — Wed, 27 Oct 2010 12:05:31 +0000

Ghost or no ghost? Let’s go to the video tape… REVIEWED: Paranormal Activity, Paranormal Activity 2. PLUS: Quack quack!

Critical End! (The Podcast) #69: You’re doing it wrong

Ryan — Wed, 20 Oct 2010 12:00:13 +0000

If you promise to stop making movies, Wes, you can have it. REVIEWED: My Soul to Take. PLUS: Michael Caine shoots somebody in the face.

Critical End! (The Podcast) #68: I ate a banjo

Ryan — Wed, 06 Oct 2010 19:54:10 +0000

This episode is ignoring your friend request. REVIEWED: Social Network. PLUS: Fun with zip codes!

Critical End! (The Podcast) #67: Can I invite Gary?

Ryan — Mon, 27 Sep 2010 12:15:53 +0000

[Insert Charlie Daniels solo here.] REVIEWED: Devil. PLUS: Spoiler Duck and some extra crap about music.

Critical End! (The Podcast) #66: Turn that sexiness down

Ryan — Wed, 15 Sep 2010 12:08:37 +0000

Let a Milla Jovovich be your umbrella. REVIEWED: Resident Evil, Resident Evil: Apocalypse, Resident Evil: Extinction, Resident Evil: Afterlife.

Critical End! (The Podcast) #65: Paint Knife

Ryan — Wed, 08 Sep 2010 12:08:09 +0000

SSSSHH! George Clooney is acting. REVIEWED: The American. PLUS: I guess we talk about Hairspray. For some reason.

Critical End! (The Podcast) #64: Size 8 Women’s

Ryan — Wed, 01 Sep 2010 12:00:53 +0000

Okay, who ate the last exorcism? C’mon, I was saving that, you guys! Why do I even put my name on stuff if you guys are just gonna ACT LIKE ANIMALS! REVIEWED: The Last Exorcism. PLUS: DeskTalk!(TM)

Critical End! (The Podcast) #63: Down Deep

Ryan — Wed, 25 Aug 2010 12:08:20 +0000

Joe Dante, James Cameron, and Roger Corman. Guess which one doesn’t have an Oscar. Wrong! REVIEWED: Piranha, Piranha 2: The Spawning, Piranha 3D. PLUS: 3D Trailer Talk and the Ultimate Dolph Lundgren Fan.

Critical End! (The Podcast) #62: Screwballs

Ryan — Wed, 18 Aug 2010 12:03:06 +0000

This week, Dolph Lundgren battles Randy Couture’s seven evil exes while Michael Cera invades Guatemala. Where was Carl Weathers? REVIEWED: The Expendables, Scott Pilgrim. PLUS: We earn our “explicit” rating.

Critical Hit! | Cartoons That Went All Live Action on Us

Ryan — Thu, 12 Aug 2010 01:42:49 +0000

Just add Jason Lee and call it a day. Hollywood can’t stop turning old cartoons and comics into flesh-and-blood talkin’ pictures.

Critical End! (The Podcast) #61: Gene Hackman died to make that pie

Ryan — Wed, 04 Aug 2010 14:16:10 +0000

Next summer, look for the sequel: Mrs. Dash. REVIEWED: Salt. PLUS: Look, Ma, no hyphen!

Critical End! (The Podcast) #60: Is that you, Scarecrow?

Ryan — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 18:18:14 +0000

We recorded a podcast in two minutes that takes more than one minute to listen to. Wait, what? REVIEWED: Inception. PLUS: Green fairy babies.

Critical End! (The Podcast) #59: HOT PICS!

Ryan — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 12:14:54 +0000

Come on… Come on! Listen to it! Listen to it! Come on. Come on! Listen to this podcast! It’s here! Listen to it! Come on! Listen! It’s here! Come on! Do it now! Listen to this podcast! REVIEWED: Predators. PLUS: If it’s for a prison movie, it’s not gay.

Critical End! (The Podcast) #58: Strap it ON!

Ryan — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 12:04:41 +0000

The scariest part of this podcast is the octopus. REVIEWED: The Goonies, Jonah Hex. PLUS: Eye herpes.

Critical End! (The Podcast) #57: We hear he’s old and gay!

Ryan — Wed, 23 Jun 2010 12:49:28 +0000

Please don’t mention Emily in this one. My fragile heart can’t take it. REVIEWED: Toy Story 3. PLUS: Trailers and contest winners and gay jokes and things.

Critical End! (The Podcast) #56: Come on, Funky Bunch

Ryan — Wed, 16 Jun 2010 12:39:59 +0000

Look, you’re a valuable member of the team, but your childish phobia is seriously impeding our plan and its chances of coming together. Which I would love. REVIEWED: The A-Team. PLUS: Does Sam Jackson being mentioned in this podcast make you more or less likely to listen to it?

Critical End! (The Podcast) #55: Now then!

Ryan — Tue, 15 Jun 2010 12:19:44 +0000

Say NO to genetically modified french chicks. REVIEWED: Splice. PLUS: Things that one may only purchase at Target.

Critical End! (The Podcast) #54: Since like…EVER

Ryan — Wed, 02 Jun 2010 12:26:50 +0000

Welcome to The Bevcast. REVIEWED: Prince of Persia. PLUS: Musings on the theater experience.

Critical Hit! | TV Marathons

Ryan — Wed, 19 May 2010 12:34:47 +0000

Another impromptu discussion spawns a Critical Hit! Logan and Ryan get nostalgic for Nick at Nite and MST3K, and have a heated disagreement over Kate & Allie.

Critical End! (The Podcast) #53: Cheadle Me Back

Ryan — Wed, 12 May 2010 12:14:13 +0000

Logan and Ryan recorded this podcast in a CAVE! With a BOX OF SCRAPS! REVIEWED: Iron Man 2 PLUS: Geekery!

Critical End! (The Podcast) #52: Yo-vo-vitch

Ryan — Wed, 05 May 2010 05:54:43 +0000

This podcast is your boyfriend now. REVIEWED: A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010). PLUS: Trailer talk!

Critical End! (The Podcast) #51: The Original Smooth

Ryan — Thu, 22 Apr 2010 11:00:14 +0000

This podcast will try to ravish you disguised as a cuttlefish. REVIEWED: Clash of the Titans (1981), Clash of the Titans (2010). PLUS: A typhoon in your mouth!

50th Episode Deleted Scenes

Ryan — Mon, 19 Apr 2010 12:42:13 +0000

Hope you guys liked our 50th episode. If over an hour of Critical End! wasn’t enough for you, here’s a little bonus material. Two montages we ended up cutting from the show.

Chevy Chase Montage

Insult Montage

Critical End! (The Podcast) #50: One from the Vaults

Ryan — Wed, 14 Apr 2010 09:33:48 +0000

Strap in tight, kids. Critical End! just got too old for this shit. REVIEWED: Critical End! PLUS: The secret origin of Man Butchman.

The Ghost of Pods Past Cast

Ryan — Fri, 09 Apr 2010 12:05:44 +0000

This has nothing to do with anything, except that I found it while searching for "late".

Hang tight, kids! Our 50th episode spectacular is shaping up to be so spectacular that it’s going to take a bit more time to complete than we thought. You’ll have it hot from the oven, same time next week at the latest.

To thank you for your patience, we’ve decided to give you something to listen to in the meantime. All 15 episodes of PodCorn, our little-heard first podcast series, unaltered and with original flavor text in tact.

Sure, the reviews are old, but this show never came out on time anyway. They’re from a simpler time (before editing), so be gentle. But, they may serve you well if you’re jonesing for your weekly fix of whatever-the-hell.

PodCorn Episode #01 – “The Three Faces of Kong”
Feb. 3, 2006 – Logan and Ryan review Peter Jackson’s “King Kong” remake as well as the 1933 original and the cheesy 70′s version. Plus the Top 10 Animal Love Movies.

PodCorn Episode #02 – “Breast Side Gory”
Feb. 13, 2006 – Logan and Ryan try not to spoil the great ending of the Eli Roth gore-fest Hostel and the crappy ending of french thriller High Tension, plus an Oscar roundup.

PodCorn Episode #03 – “These are a Few of Our Favorite Things”
Feb. 20, 2006 – The guys practically beg you to give the horror-comedy Undead a chance, then reveal some of their all time favorite films.

PodCorn Episode #04 – “Death Takes a Holiday “
Feb. 27, 2006 – The Grim Reaper drops the ball again in the third installment of the Final Destination series. Logan and Ryan review all three for you, then chat about their favorite uses of product placement in film. PLUS: A free contest that YOU can win!

PodCorn Episode #05 – “My Favorite Martin “
Mar. 3, 2006 – From The Jerk to Cheaper by the Dozen 2, Logan and Ryan review the best and worst of Steve Martin’s catalog in preperation for his turn as the new Inspector Clouseau in The Pink Panther. PLUS: The contest deadline gets extended. Enter now!

PodCorn Episode #06 – “Pity in Pink “
Mar. 12, 2006 – Peter Sellers rolls in his grave and Blake Edwards rolls his wheelchair into traffic as Steve Martin desecrates their memories in The Pink Panther remake. Expect another tirade on the depressing state of modern comedy. Clive Owen somehow works his way in as well. Also, the contest winner is announced! Is it you? Yes!* (*No.)

PodCorn Episode #07 – “Sorry, Wrong Number”
Mar. 20, 2006 – Hollywood takes an obscure suspense movie from the 70′s and remakes the first 20 minutes of it in When a Stranger Calls. Hear the boys complain about this, Isaac Hayes leaving South Park, and more.

PodCorn Episode #08 – “Wild Wild Wes”
Mar. 26, 2006 – Randy Quaid challenges Ang Lee to a duel, Logan and Ryan read some awkward viewer mail, and Wes Craven just can’t seem to make a good movie. All this and a new catchphrase. Tally ho!

PodCorn Episode #09 – “The Hills are Alive “
Apr. 3, 2006 – The boys compare Wes Craven’s break out 1977 film The Hills Have Eyes with its 2006 remake by the guy who did High Tension. Plus a nice chat about Nothing.

PodCorn Episode #10 – “Silent Hill, Deadly Hill”
Apr. 22, 2006 – It’s our 10th episode (finally) and Logan and Ryan celebrate by actually disagreeing on a movie! Plus a flippant look at Inside Man and the harrowing tale of our “lost episode”.

PodCorn Episode #11 – “Shawn and Marlon’s Bogus Franchise”
May 5, 2006 – The Scary Movie films prove to be just that when the boys force their way through this failure of a comedy series. Sure makes us miss David Zucker…oh wait…

PodCorn Episode #12 – “Spies Like Us “
May 19, 2006 – Tom Cruise might be crazier than an outhouse rat, but he can still turn out a decent spy film now and again, as the PodCorn crew finds out when they put the Mission: Impossible trilogy to the test. Unfortunately, one of these things is not like the others.

PodCorn Episode #13 – “Das Upside Down Boot”
May 26, 2006 – Logan and Ryan wade through Hollywood’s three adaptations of The Poseidon Adventure while trying to stay afloat. Lots of nautical puns, plus the secret identity of “The Guter” revealed!

PodCorn Episode #14 – “Battle of the Sixes “
Jun 14, 2006 – PodCorn goes on temporary hiatus, but fear not, Logan and Ryan will return in THUNDERBALL. Until then, they leave you with their biggest retrospective yet, all five Omen films. See you soon!

PodCorn Episode #15 – “My (Least?) Favorite Year”
Jan 29, 2007 – PodCorn makes its triumphant return in a massive round up of every movie we saw in 2006 including our best and worst lists. What will 2007 hold? Hopefully some good flicks and a come-back for Guter!

Critical End! (The Podcast) #49: Hence Begins the Circles

Ryan — Wed, 31 Mar 2010 12:11:32 +0000

No, this does not mean we’ll stop talking about Chevy Chase. REVIEWED: Hot Tub Time Machine PLUS: Chevy Chase!

Critical End! (The Podcast) #48: Hitting the boot

Ryan — Wed, 24 Mar 2010 12:00:33 +0000

Why so tense, guy? REVIEWED: Repo Men (2010), Repo Man (1984). PLUS: Trailer tales.

Critical End! (The Podcast) #47: The styles you need and the brands you crave

Ryan — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 12:05:29 +0000

If it looks good on a messenger bag, Tim Burton will adapt it. REVIEWED: Alice in Wonderland (2010). PLUS: Journeys Shoes? Still exists.

Critical End! (The Podcast) #46: John Crazy

Ryan — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 09:23:20 +0000

Seriously, the man’s face is 85% glasses. REVIEWED: The Crazies (1973). The Crazies (2010).

Critical End! (The Podcast) #45: Fill my trunk with unlimited breadsticks

Ryan — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 12:08:29 +0000

This episode is a duly-appointed U.S. Podcast. REVIEWED: Shutter Island. PLUS: The Sense-Shattering Return of Spoiler Duck!

Critical End! (The Podcast) #44: Deviled Eggs

Ryan — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 12:03:29 +0000

Coooooooooooooooooookie Crisp! REVIEWED: The Wolf Man (1941), The Wolfman (2010). PLUS: Some creepy stuff.

Critical End! (The Podcast) #43: Mum’s the word!

Ryan — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 12:31:19 +0000

Oh look! Mr. Postman brought us something from John Travolta. Let’s see here… Ah. He mailed us some garbage. REVIEWED: From Paris with Love. PLUS: Apparently, the Super Bowl?

Critical End! (The Podcast) #42: Dear Grodd

Ryan — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 12:07:10 +0000

GIVE ME BACK MY SON!/DAUGHTER!/WIFE! REVIEWED: Edge of Darkness. PLUS: A quick tour through Mel Gibson’s filmography.

Critical Hit! | The Late Night Wars of 2010

Ryan — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 12:01:34 +0000

An unplanned aside after recording episode 41 of the regular podcast turned into a Critical Hit! on the Leno/Conan debacle going on at NBC. Some day we’ll all look back on this and laugh. Much harder than we ever did at either of their shows.

Meanwhile, I don’t know why we bothered to debate, since this video explains the whole situation quite clearly.

Critical End! (The Podcast) #41: Snorkel it Off

Ryan — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 12:00:57 +0000

Vampires: Grim and gritty supernatural killers or creepy angsty stalkers? To make the call, we pit the Spierig Brothers’ latest against a movie we never thought we’d see. As Bela Lugosi put it, “I have never met a vampire personally, but I don’t know what might happen tomorrow.” REVIEWED: Daybreakers, *cough*Twilight*cough*

Another fine episode of Stupid Nerd

Ryan — Thu, 14 Jan 2010 02:01:51 +0000

And another Ryan guest appearance. This one’s a sequel to the first episode I was on. Chris teaches Arnie and me more about the wild world of LARPing as we attempt to make our own vampire characters.

Check it (and all the other great episodes) out on iTunes or play it below.

Critical End! (The Podcast) #40: The Best and Worst of 2009

Ryan — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 12:18:13 +0000

Can you believe we’ve been doing this for a whole year? Seems like only yesterday you were disagreeing with our 2008 wrap-up. REVIEWED: The highlights and lowlights of 2009.

Critical End! (The Podcast) #39: Houndz

Ryan — Wed, 30 Dec 2009 20:25:50 +0000

Is Robert Downey Jr. hording all of this money in a basement somewhere, fully aware that his star could fall again at any moment? Or is he like “What the hell, I can always make a sequel to Mr. Willowby’s Christmas Tree!” REVIEWED: Sherlock Holmes. PLUS: More musings on the trials of theater-going, including the secret world of the Kiosk Gnome.

Critical End! (The Podcast) #38: Greywater

Ryan — Sun, 27 Dec 2009 18:38:14 +0000

They live in a secret world touched by magic and surrounded by nature, and the only human who has ever been there, must now fight to save it. This is the story of FernGully: The Last Rainforest. REVIEWED: Avatar. PLUS: Bye Bye Squeaky.

Critical End! (The Podcast) #37: Moving in with Chad

Ryan — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 06:36:19 +0000

So…what if he’d kissed a regular frog? REVIEWED: The Princess and the Frog. PLUS: A bunch of Christmas Retro Picks including Jack Frost (not the Michael Keaton one) and a whole messa Muppets.

Critical End! (The Podcast) #36: Little for Short

Ryan — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 01:56:09 +0000

So many things to learn. But we’ll enjoy each lesson. Problems don’t worry us. When half the fun is guessing. REVIEWED: Brothers (2004), Brothers (2009). CHRISTMAS RETRO PICK: It’s a Wonderful Life.

Critical End! (The Podcast) #35: RIGGS!

Ryan — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 03:06:21 +0000

A tidal wave of sharks. REVIEWED: 2012. PLUS: The holiday season begins with a Christmas RETRO PICK of National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.

Critical End! (The Podcast) #34: Prime Directive

Ryan — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 21:17:52 +0000

Button, button, who’s got the MURDER! REVIEWED: The Box. RETRO PICK: Button, Button. PLUS: Logan faces some touch choices of his own when Ryan presents him with his own series of moral-decision boxes.

Critical End! (The Podcast) #33: Team Jake v. Team Tobey

Ryan — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 06:21:19 +0000

This audio recording is being beamed directly into your brain with Jedi mind tricks. REVIEWED: The Men Who Stare at Goats. PLUS: Trailer talk, featuring Brothers.

Critical Hit! | Saw

Ryan — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 04:58:09 +0000

Logan and Ryan want to play a game. A game where they talk about the Saw series as a whole without boring you with the details of any one installment. Also there will be MURDER.

Ryan talks Friday the 13th on Stupid Nerd

Ryan — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 15:20:30 +0000

Arnie Niekamp was once again kind enough to invite me on his podcast Stupid Nerd. This time, Jason Chin and I get Arnie all caught up on the entire Friday the 13th series.

Get it from iTunes or hit play and listen below.

Critical End! (The Podcast) #32: Skinny Jeans

Ryan — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 06:15:06 +0000

Zombies. Am I right? I tell ya. REVIEWED: Zombieland. PLUS: Guess who’s still touring!

Critical End! (The Podcast) #31: Solvin’ Crimes

Ryan — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 02:22:30 +0000

In a world where non-robot Bruce Willises are outlawed, only outlaws will be non-robot Bruce Willis. REVIEWED: Surrogates PLUS: Sweet Valley High?

Critical End! (The Podcast) #30: Don Logan and Ryan, Hamilton, Joe Frank & Reynolds

Ryan — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 05:13:42 +0000

Bitchiness and bile abounds in CE!’s 30th show. REVIEWED: Jennifer’s Body. RETRO PICK: Hook. PLUS: Zombie Patrick Swayze.

Critical Hit! #2: Community

Ryan — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 06:30:15 +0000

Chevy Chase has returned to television in Community, and Logan and Ryan are ready to blather on about it. But in the spirit of the Critical Hit, we keep it short.

Critical End! (The Podcast) #29: Spoiler Duck

Ryan — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 05:44:01 +0000

Looks like a nor’easter. Better take in the porch swing. REVIEWED: Whiteout. PLUS: Arnold Schwarzeneggar Can Do Christmas All By Himself.

Listen to Stupid Nerd

Ryan — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 19:23:59 +0000

A little cross-promotion action for you, folks. Critical End’s Me (Ryan) recently made a guest appearance on Arnie Niekamp’s podcast Stupid Nerd. Each week, Arnie interviews people about different nerdy subjects in order to expand his nerd knowledge. This episode, he learns about vampire-themed LARPing, and while I’m not a LARPer, I am a huge nerd and had fun sitting in and learning (and occasionally cracking wise).

Check it out on iTunes or just play it below.

Critical End! (The Podcast) #28: That sailboat is ME!

Ryan — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 06:44:45 +0000

We didn’t want to post this episode, but a 17 year old is controlling our actions. REVIEWED: Gamer. PLUS: Logan’s Yoko.

Critical End! (The Podcast) #27: Olivia’s Favorite

Ryan — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 06:15:34 +0000

Dead franchises and dead podcasts abound this week as Logan and Ryan look back on the Final Destination series while simultaneously looking back at themselves by way of rare archive recordings of the Final Destination episode of their old show, PodCorn. REVIEWED: The Final Destination and its ilk. PLUS: Weiners.

Critical End! (The Podcast) #26: Tubular

Ryan — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 05:51:23 +0000

Do not pass go. Do not collect 100 Nazi scalps. REVIEWED: Inglourious Basterds. PLUS: Does anyone else like Last Action Hero?

Critical End! (The Podcast) #25: U B the Sex & I’ll B the Money

Ryan — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 05:55:17 +0000

You got your sociopolitical commentary in my sci-fi popcorn flick! You got your Sam Rockwell in my Sam Rockwell! It’s a science fiction double feature with District 9 and Moon. PLUS: Whither White Chicks 2?

Critical End! (The Podcast) #24: Five Dollar Surgeries

Ryan — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 03:13:21 +0000

Now that we’re 24 episodes old, it’s time we thought about sharing our love with someone new. Adoption or threesome, either way works for us. REVIEWED: Orphan. PLUS: Amy Adams in a goatee.

Critical End! (The Podcast) #23: A doctorate in nerdery

Ryan — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 02:18:00 +0000

We whip out some occlumency in an attempt to divine how Michael Gambon ever got cast as Dumbledore. REVIEWED: Six Harry Potter films. PLUS: Chris Columbus: Overrated? Underrated? Rated appropriately?

Critical End! (The Podcast) #22: For a buck? I might.

Ryan — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 00:02:38 +0000

This week, Michael Mann proves to film students everywhere that he’s one of them by making a long, rambling, plotless crime drama on DV. Except his stars Johnny Depp. REVIEWED: Public Enemies. PLUS: Newsies!

Critical End! (The Podcast) #21: Keep on, Shorty

Ryan — Sun, 09 Aug 2009 23:58:53 +0000

It’s thirty minutes of bile, robots, and the most anyone’s ever talked about Shia LaBeouf in one sitting. REVIEWED: Transformers, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. PLUS: Someone’s more racist than Logan!

Critical End! (The Podcast) #20: It’s actually 23 flavors

Ryan — Sun, 09 Aug 2009 20:45:59 +0000

It’s our 20th episode and we mostly talk about soda. REVIEWED: Year One. PLUS: Our early years as IMDb contributors revealed.

Critical Hit! #1: Harper’s Island

Ryan — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 04:50:56 +0000

The debut of a brand new feature: the Critical Hit! Critical Hits will be shorter than our regular shows and probably not about a new movie, but something a bit looser or more topical. Like a television show with a recently aired finale. Or in the case of Harper’s Island, a television show with a finale that had recently aired before we took forever to release this episode. Still…Critical Hit!

Critical End! (The Podcast) #19: Kanukness

Ryan — Sun, 05 Jul 2009 20:38:44 +0000

I hear that train a’comin’ / It’s comin’ round the hill / I hope that is my train / I’d better check my schedule / Oops, that was the train to Appleton / but it’s going to Circle Pines / And I’ve got about another 20 minutes to kill / It’s a good thing I brought some magaZINES. REVIEWED: The Taking of Pelham One Two Three (1974), The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3 (2009). PLUS: Singing?

Critical End! (The Podcast) #18: Milk Carton/Dolly Parton

Ryan — Sun, 28 Jun 2009 03:03:13 +0000

We unlock the conspiracy behind how the same two guys can write both Reno 911! and Herbie Fully Loaded. REVIEWED: Night at the Museum, Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian. PLUS: Racism!

Critical End! (The Podcast) #17: You want it WHEN?

Ryan — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 03:52:29 +0000

This week, we’re pulled in two directions. REVIEWED: Drag Me to Hell, Up. PLUS: Critical End!’s first ever contest, your chance to win FABULOUS* PRIZES!

(*Prizes not actually fabulous.)

Critical End! (The Podcast) #16: One More Chip

Ryan — Sat, 30 May 2009 20:31:39 +0000

Wash day tomorrow? Nothing clean, right? REVIEWED: The Terminator, Terminator 2: Judgement Day, Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines, Terminator Salvation.

Critical End! (The Podcast) #15: Aunt Jemima’s Infinite Madness

Ryan — Mon, 25 May 2009 21:50:47 +0000

Another summer of reboots, remakes, and sequels begins here. Same old concepts, prettier actors. REVIEWED: Star Trek. PLUS: Ben Stiller’s Hair: Fact or Fiction?

Critical End! (The Podcast) #14: And now he’s a dinosaur

Ryan — Mon, 25 May 2009 19:24:32 +0000

Critical End! (The Podcast) #14 is too sexy to die. REVIEWED: X-Men Origins: Wolverine. PLUS: More nerd talk than you can shake a bone claw at. SUPER BONUS PLUS: For a faster and wackier show, try the Alternate Nerd Voice Ashcan Edition.

Critical End! (The Podcast) #13: Remachination

Ryan — Sun, 24 May 2009 05:00:23 +0000

It’s back to basics with an old school list show. Five best and five worst remakes. PLUS: The usual blather.

Critical End! (The Podcast) #12: Crockney

Ryan — Sat, 23 May 2009 19:52:30 +0000

Jason Statham punches his way into our hearts as his threatens to stop beating. REVIEWED: Crank, Crank: High Voltage. PLUS: An old friend stops by for a game.

Critical End! (The Podcast) #11: The 10th Episode

Ryan — Tue, 05 May 2009 05:09:56 +0000

Fair warning: This should NOT be your first episode of Critical End! (The Podcast) as it’s the weirdest damn show we’ve ever done. Join us as we celebrate our tenth (?) episode. REVIEWED (eventually): Dragonball Evolution.

Critical End! (The Podcast) #10: Solve this with your words

Ryan — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 03:13:21 +0000

This episode wants to awkwardly make out with you on the Wild Mouse. REVIEWED: Adventureland. PLUS: The boys relive fears and hairstyles of the 1980s.

Critical End! (The Podcast) #9: A Rudding

Ryan — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 02:34:50 +0000

The Critical End! Zoo Crew (R) takes you on a fantastic voyage through the filmography of Paul Rudd, ending on his latest work, I Love You, Man.

Critical End! (The Podcast) #8: No son of mine

Ryan — Sun, 22 Mar 2009 20:43:34 +0000

Logan’s hand-written notes for this episode say it all: “Intervention, Abortion, AIDS.” Just keep repeating to yourself: It’s only a podcast… REVIEWED: The Virgin Spring, The Last House on the Left (1972), The Last House on the Left (2009) PLUS: Even more ragtime piano than usual.

Critical End! (The Podcast) #7: A punch in the face

Ryan — Sat, 14 Mar 2009 15:09:39 +0000

What’s loud and long and blue all over? Wait, I think I told that wrong… REVIEWED: Watchmen. RETRO PICKS: V for Vendetta, From Hell, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. PLUS: Secrets of The Persuader revealed!

Critical End! (The Podcast) #6: Just rode in from Richmond

Ryan — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 18:53:13 +0000

Critical End! (The Podcast) Episode 6 has creepy buttons for eyes. Also scissors for hands, a corncob pipe, and a belly like a bowl full of jelly. REVIEWED: Coraline, Monkeybone (Retro Pick). PLUS: Many things that have nothing to do with Coraline or Monkeybone.

Critical End! (The Podcast) Episode 5: MAN Camp

Ryan — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 00:05:38 +0000

Is it weird that the Friday the 13th series has nothing to do with bad luck? I mean, besides the bad luck implied by a knife-wielding maniac? This question and others ignored on this week’s retrospective of the first three Jason films and review of the highly anticipated remake. PLUS: Silly voices.

Critical End! (The Podcast) Episode 4: Steve sighed today

Ryan — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 05:18:00 +0000

We put an action movie and a romantic comedy in a steel cage and force them to rumble to the death. REVIEWED: He’s Just Not That Into You, Taken. PLUS: Cut Logan’s hair for pennies a day!

(Side note: Yes, we are doing Friday the 13th. You get two shows this week. Stay tuned.)

Critical End! (The Podcast) Episode 3: Please don’t shut it down, Mr. Health Inspector

Ryan — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 06:26:42 +0000

Ah, the old “review the Asian horror film and then review the American remake” gag, eh? I’m on to you, Critical End! (The Podcast) Episode 3…I’m ON to you… REVIEWED: A Tale of Two Sisters, Uninvited. PLUS: Hat-wearing advice for the socially flummoxed.

Critical End! (The Podcast) Episode 2: Three Dimensions of Terror

Ryan — Sat, 10 Jan 2009 05:45:46 +0000

Logan and Ryan want to be born now. REVIEWED: The Unborn, My Bloody Valentine 3D. Plus listener questions (kinda).

Critical End! (The Podcast) Episode 1

Ryan — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 05:42:41 +0000

What’s that on the horizon? Why it’s Critical End! (The Podcast), the wise-cracking sidekick to Critical End! (The Blog). In this, our inaugural show, Logan and Ryan discuss the best and worst movies of 2008.

CORRECTION: Jerry Zucker directed Ghost. Not David.