Critical End!

HE EATS BABIES, PEOPLE! When will you learn to shun him!

In a way, I’m glad that Sandler is apparently reversing his decision to go the way of Jim Carrey, filling the latter half of his career with maudlin “sad clown” roles a la Punch-Drunk Love and Funny People.  I would have hated for him to gain any degree of semi-legitimacy.  Although to be fair, Carrey, unlike Sandler, actually used to be funny.

What I’m getting at is the news that Sandler is set to star in Jack and Jill, a move in which he plays twins.  Named Jack and Jill.  And it’s a romantic comedy.

Beyond the inevitable Sandler-related factors (Jill will talk in a baby voice for some reason, Drew Barrymore will be put-upon but charmed), nothing more has leaked out about the plot.  But Sandler fans will surely hail this as a return to form, and give it a great opening weekend.

With that in mind, I’m getting the jump on my own “Nursery Rhyme Title as Raunchy Romantic Comedy” pitches.  Here’s a taste:

Old Mother Hubbard
When Dick Hubbard’s (Dane Cook) foul-mouthed grandmother dies during his annual visit,  Dick stumbles upon her will and is shocked to discover that she’s left all her money to a local animal charity.  If Dick wants his inheritance, he’ll have to pose as his own grandmother (with the help of his theater school pals) long enough to convince her lawyer to change the will.  It’s the perfect plan until the sexy and passionate director of the charity (Kristen Stewart) shows up to plead the animals’ case and get back on “grandma’s” good side!

What do you guys think?  I’ve also got a great poster for Little Jack Hornier…

[via Chud]