And now: An Excerpt From Logan’s Diary
Yeah, I blog on a typewriter. Got a problem with that?
Dear Diary,
It started off just like any other day: After crying myself to sleep, I woke up this morning feeling refreshed and quickly started off to work.
I arrived at the office slightly late (I had to return home at one point to put on some pants), but took the back stairs anyway to avoid Tina, the receptionist, as I still haven’t returned her calls. Unfortunately, I ran into my supervisor, Steve, who yelled at me for constantly being late. Luckily, I know just how to deal with Steve.
“Shove it up your butt, motorcycle man!” I yelled at him before locking myself in my office and throwing a file cabinet in front of the door. Yup, it looked like I had another splendid day of solitaire and match.com in store for me!
However, as I sat at my desk, a strange feeling came over me, and I had to stop and think (see picture). What was that feeling? At first I thought that it might be a small newt of some sort that crawled into my ear and laid eggs on my frontal lobe, but then I remembered what my psychiatrist said about how unlikely that was to happen. Hmmm…oh! I know! Critical End! Diary, you won’t believe some of the amazing things that have happened over the past month at critical-end.com! It’s totally righteous!
First off, the highly awesome folks over at Chattarati.com said some great things about us. They compared us to other film critics, saying that we are “certainly way more funny” (actual quote) and even “completely squeezable” (I made that one up). It was very overwhelming. Thanks guys!
Also, we finally launched our About page! Not only are there some frequently asked questions about our site listed there, but also a nifty way to check out our complete IMDB ratings and even fan us on Netflix. It’s all incredibly, for lack of a better word, sexellent.
Well, diary, that’s about it. I’ll make sure to write in you again before the big sock hop rolls around. I do hope that Laura asks me out. She’s ever so dreamy!
Have a bitchin’ summer,
logan
